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Tara Murphy's avatar

It never ceases to amaze me how you are able to find the pearl in every pile of rubbish you deal with each and every day. Your optimism and positive outlook on life are so encouraging and contagious Suleika. Holding two diametrically opposing emotions, immense joy and incredible pain, is one of the hardest lessons I am learning in life. And you live this dialectic day in and day out and show up for life each day in the best way you can.

I’m having a very challenging weekend myself health wise and spent a night wracked with pain and chills and shakes and tears, trying to YouTube ways of inserting my own feeding tube because our medical system is so broken and even hiring a private nurse is impossible because of how short staffed the private agencies are. And day by day I am getting sicker and withering away because no matter how much I eat my body is tired and is begging for a break a feeding tube would provide.

I was up late researching where to order supplies and teaching myself four years of nursing skills in a few hours when another tummy attack hit and like your mum, mine was right by my side despite probably wanting to toss her cookies too just witnessing the horrors of refeeding on a frail body.

It is very early here and I am awake with tummy cramps again and saw this in my inbox and am so grateful for the smile and warmth you brought to me in such a dark time. I wish I could send you a space suit so you could walk the carpet with your man but knowing your mumma bear is beside you and that you share a similar bond and sense of humour to the one I share with my mum is comforting to me. I am so glad she is with you - I know without mine I would have given up long ago.

Thank you for sharing your courage, your tenacity, your raw and honest struggle and your unique victories. You have gifted me hope today, hope that things will get better and that I can model your resilience by taking baby steps instead of pushing through a recovery that is teaching me more and more each day to embrace the journey and to remain open to what the universe has planned for me.

Bless you Suleika - you are helping me become the woman/daughter/ friend I desperately want to be.

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Jess's avatar

One of the hardest parts of dealing with chronic illness is all the things it steals. In our family it was nothing so exciting and momentous as attending the Grammys, but lots of experiences and events and moments we had so looked forward to. For us, forming a new plan helped sometimes, but sometimes we just had to feel sad and grieve the loss of another thing the seizures took (of course all the while just trying to get through very real health scares). I have many times wished for magical teleportation myself...I wish we could all do that for you!

As for music transcending me: I recently had the opportunity to attend a concert by the New Mexico philharmonic, where the theme was the music of John Williams. A few selections from Schindler's List were performed, and one in particular was so moving. The concertmaster, violinist Krzysztof Zimowski, is the son of a Polish concentration camp survivor. His solo was so haunting and beautiful that I was left in tears by the end of it - smack in the middle of a concert full of songs from Jaws and Star Wars and Harry Potter. I couldn't remember the last time a simple piece of music had such a profound effect on me, and I hope it stays with me.

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