Loved this one. And I’m sitting at the edge of my bed, soaking up the winter sun and just finished reading this. Through my closed door, I hear my 10 year old daughter FaceTiming her BFF and telling each other what they journaled about. There’s a younger generation falling in love with journaling. And it started by witnessing her mom doing daily morning pages. Wanted to share with you that pen and paper journaling is spreading to a very iPad focused generation! 🤗✨
I loved this prompt the first time around and was pleased to revisit it again. It reminds me how to be a better listener. Instead of trying to offer a fix, just ask what else. I think we could all use that space and grace and as I finished my entry today I wrote this,” the page always listens”
I couldn’t help but remember that the first time I encountered this prompt (while working with the Book), my husband was about to have major surgery, and this prompt was MEDICINAL in the way that it was able to help. So, this time, while the world is in a What Else moment, I couldn’t help but feel a little grateful, a LOT grateful, that we made it through the last time. I will keep this prompt near for the bad days. And since I’m now caffeinated and writing this for me more than anyone who might have read it this far, the day we found out about my husbands tumor, I woke up to our 18 year old cat peeing on my head. Now, I giggle.
I know! I woke up to it and he had never done that before nor has he done it since. And I have to explain that I messed up the sequence of things - here they are - husband was in terrible pain and ultimately an mri was done - I bought phish food to cheer him up - he broke his tooth on the phish food and was waiting for the dentist to call when his doctor said he would need emergency spine surgery to remove a tumor - and we went to sleep on that news and it was the next morning when I woke up to my poor old man kitty peeing on my head. He sensed the stress i am sure. But it was such a what else day!
Thanks for asking! He is miraculously ok! And the cat is fine too! It was such a weird and terrible time. I love this community for letting me remember it through this lens!
The mental image of the cat peeing is hilarious. I have had those days that are so awful that the final straw ends up making me laugh because it has been an absurdly bad day. It almost makes me feel invincible.
With a candle lit and my coffee perfect, my new routine of this 30-day project has brought in 2026 with newness and introspection that I have been craving. Thank you. The ten images were beautiful. My portrait was so bad it was funny. The silence was Quaker-like. Day 11, today's prompt, is the first to find me unsettled. The story of the panty-hose resonated, and I have vowed in the past never to attend a funeral alone. However, not every prompt is for every person. I imagine there is an unseen fulcrum between a cathartic airing of grievances and straight-up complaining. Today's fulcrum seemed to tilt me towards complaining. And I am not a complainer. Did I not write long enough? Am I afraid to break open the piñata of troubles? Sigh. I will add this reflection to the entry, and see if that "lives the question" for me.
Julie, Thank you for writing this post using the perfect choice of words to express your feelings. Never too late to "break open the pinata of troubles". I did this AM and it changed everything. From dismal gray to vibrant sky blue. Onward!
Ah thé panty hose predicament- I have been there so often I have abandoned the very idea of panty hose - I have struggled so many years with my body image that I can’t even remember when I last wore a pair. Now with my recent weight loss I am considering the challenge of facing finding a pair that fits but I doubt I will explore the possibility. I think I will continue to see how I can use long socks or knee highs and choose skirts or dresses that are probably a tad too long so the panty hose issue is ignored. On the subject of funerals as a singer who began in the church - I remember clearly the first funeral I sang for - my sweet grandmother- I was in 9th grade and she suddenly passed away from heart attack. Right now I have lost count of how many funerals I have sung for maybe several hundred perhaps? The last funeral I tried to sing for was my father - I didn’t make it through the service - half way through I turned it over to the other singer thankfully to give me space to grieve for my beloved father and stand with my siblings. I decided then that is my last funeral to sing for I needed to be present to the grief versus stepping into the performing mode. Sigh funerals are such strange ceremonies of the milestone of letting go of this human body and acknowledging the awareness of the unseen existence we all will experience. Interesting thoughts todays prompt - right?
Sometimes, when I used to wake up in the morning with “a piñata of troubles” the best thing would be to go back to sleep. That is if you aren’t at work or if your schedule isn’t too crammed. Maybe just for an hour. Reset or as we put it “Wake up on the right side of the bed. It’s been quite awhile since this has happened to me but I am remembering when I was younger this used to happen to me.
I interpreted this question less as a question about complaint per se than about looking at something that is bothering or upsetting you and asking yourself is that level of description what is really disturbing you, or is there a reason beneath that makes it bother you so, like a child's rabbit hole of 'why' questions.
Your deep and honest grappling seems like a small miracle. Assessing, turning over, sitting with, carving out a space where the truth can arrive. So powerful.
beautiful prompt and beatuiful essay on the prompt. i love the idea of the last thing to make us lose ourselves is an accumulation of all the other, unsaid or unvoiced things. i couldn't agree more.
here are a few of mine from my writing this morning:
what else?
i am deeply lonely, and deeply loved
i am finding my way in this new land and language, and i also feel shut down
i am gracious and kind to myself, and exacting and unforgiving, my hardest taskmaster
i am weighed down by what comes next, and also delighting in the beauties of this moment: salmon soup with dill, thick wool socks, chewy archipelago bread dunked in said soup, the sharp salt in my nose from the Baltic sea
I'm 77 yo, and one thing I've learned in life is to not "use" the weather as an excuse to not get outside for a walk or run. If it's too cold/wet, get proper clothing and layers to mitigate the effects. Layers are the answer. No big "puffy" coats. A merino blend turtleneck (Costco) and mid-weight poplin jacket (barrier to wind) (waterproof if necessary), work well. Anything knit/permeable, such as sweatshirts, etc, don't keep out the wind.) As you move, you heat up. Plus, wool blend sox from Costco, hat, and Smart Wool liner gloves. If it's too hot, you head out earlier in the day with visor and sunscreen. In other words, spending 30 - 60 minutes outside every day, regardless of weather, will do more for your mood and energy than anything else I know. Moving and exercise are the best antidotes to depression and anxiety. Bad weather? No excuse.
I have started to call those micro grievances the icing on the cupcake of coming undone. The final flourish on top of a cake made of grievances. My last 'pantyhose' moment was finally losing it and swearing/ yelling at the gale force wind whipping around me as I tried to take washing from the line. My husband and I had such a bad 6 months last year we were terrified to even say out loud 'What else'. But I love the idea of moving through the list in a quiet steady way which may dissolve the tears that build up in those worst days. Thank you so much for this day 11.
Im sitting in the hospital with Dr R, who is holding my hand and telling me that my first round 7-3 of chemo did not work to bring my blasts down. Then she is telling me that we will try again, that it may just take more time. I am alone, my husband not yet able to move into my hospital room with me. It is Covid era, and no one else can visit, one has to move in and stay. I am not allowed out of the room but for 8 PM, when we can shuffle around the square block, the walking dead. It is taking time to organize pet care, bill paying and household stuff so that he can move in with me and help in the hospital. It is unknown how long he will have to stay, and his elderly father is also in the hospital. Not the same one, unfortunately. But at least in the same city. I am feverish, the chemo is killing my immune system. I tell myself, it will be better tomorrow. Late that night my fever rises. Harpies dressed in white-or are they angels?-hover around my bed, filling tube after tube with blood. What is causing the infection? We may never know, it is a FUO. Fever of unknown origin.. perhaps it is despair, perhaps it is the relentless 24-7 drip of chemo, perhaps perhaps. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.
That became my nightly mantra. The words I said to myself when ‘what else’ loomed. I learned never ever to ask what else. Only to say to myself, tomorrow will be better…
I had a brief What else? moment equivalent to the pantyhose incident that involved a designer dress I wore about 8 years ago. I had worn this beautiful black dress with embroidered flowers and sequins in my favorite colors to a friend's 40th birthday bash. I remembered feeling beautiful and confident in that dress. I received compliments and was told I was the best dressed at the party (other than the birthday girl, of course). Then 5 years ago I received my cancer diagnosis. This was followed by an SCT and several relapses requiring steroids, radiation and every form of chemotherapy and immunotherapy they could throw at me. This past fall I felt great. I was in remission for 18 months, active and back to what I thought was my healthy weight. My nephew was getting married and I was looking forward to dressing up, seeing my family and dancing the night away in that beautiful designer dress that I had only worn once. I didn't need to spend money I said to myself, I have a dress, shoes, a purse, everything. The moment of truth came a couple of weeks before the wedding when I decided to try-out my fabulous look from 2017. The dress was tight. The hemline was much shorter than I remembered and my skin was bulging in all the wrong places. Illness and age had taken its toll. In the grand scheme of things, it was a small problem. The only casualty was my ego.
I quickly ordered a new dress with a forgiving cut and a midi hemline. With my hair and make-up done I felt pretty again. My husband and sons said I was beautiful. We had a ball at the wedding. This won't be the last blow to my sense of self but seeing the lighter side of life and having people to share it with makes all the difference. I also have a new go-to party dress ;)
Suleika, Your essay this morning expresses what happens next, when you are walking out onto a frozen lake and no one knows about your choice to do this. How frozen? Will the ice hold? How far out will you gingerly seep across the ice, ‘as if’ a skater... and why are you there? because...? In fact, there is no real reason, except I am held on this ice; I am frozen too, aware of four limbs extending the weight over a bigger area, without a rescue plan other than avoiding the cracking sound, and breathing for hope. The moment where I find an escape route... Childhood in New England.
As always Suleika, this weeks newsletter was great and awe aspiring. However, my connection to this weak story is relatable. We tend to wake up in moods that do not represent who we are and we take a moment to look in the mirror, we may not recognize that person. It happens to me, usually after a terrible nights sleep. In the case of Molly, lots of emotions, maybe hormonal, but nevertheless they are valid feelings. I follow Stoicism and this is a continual learning process to become a better person. Keeping connection with family and friends is challenging enough, but we need to remember that there are things in life we can and cannot control. If we can identify what those are, then we are on the right road to Eudaimonia! You are what makes my Sunday mornings. Thank you for sharing!
I am always encouraged to read the sensitive thoughts written in these comments. It's not a "what else?" kind of day for me. It was a really lovely day and I felt a bit spoiled.
Last week, every day was packed and there were many challenges. Then Friday and Saturday were rather sad. But Sunday at our church, I was fully blessed by the music and also encouraged by the words two visitors shared: They were both born in Nigeria, left alone to live with their rather old grandmother for 5 or 6 years after their mother moved to England, and then at age 11, the two of them were flown to England to reunite with their mother. Not an easy life. In their new surroundings, everything was so different, they didn't speak English, and each day was a huge challenge. Now both in their 60's they shared a lot of wisdom.
And then Sunday afternoon the wind was horrible so I had the wisdom, or at least the common sense, to stay home with a hot cup of tea while my husband walked our dear Lab, James.
Listening and asking the right questions. A beautiful way to support a loved one. And it's usually the pantyhose. Or the cheese. You see, we don't have much cheese here in Japan and it's quite costly. SO in 2011, when we had the triple disaster (nuclear, earthquake and tsunami) here. An acquaintance needed a place to stay. And she ate all the cheese in the fridge. I head been quite heroic helping people all day, but...no the cheese. That broke me. At least until I had to get up again the next morning and find some clean drinking water to transport in the big truck to the folks up north. Problems like pantyhose and cheese really sting. Yet they don't last very long. It's the huge problems that lurk just below the surface that we need to be ready for.
Something "wider and truer". These words resonate with me so. Yes, it might be a small, petty thing that brings you over the top and that you focus on, but it is really something 'wider and truer'--and bigger and smarter and deeper, and allowing yourself to seeing that, is the way out. Thank you as always.
Loved this one. And I’m sitting at the edge of my bed, soaking up the winter sun and just finished reading this. Through my closed door, I hear my 10 year old daughter FaceTiming her BFF and telling each other what they journaled about. There’s a younger generation falling in love with journaling. And it started by witnessing her mom doing daily morning pages. Wanted to share with you that pen and paper journaling is spreading to a very iPad focused generation! 🤗✨
Sweet!
I loved this prompt the first time around and was pleased to revisit it again. It reminds me how to be a better listener. Instead of trying to offer a fix, just ask what else. I think we could all use that space and grace and as I finished my entry today I wrote this,” the page always listens”
Thank you for the continued connections here.
I like that perspective. Listening is so important.
I couldn’t help but remember that the first time I encountered this prompt (while working with the Book), my husband was about to have major surgery, and this prompt was MEDICINAL in the way that it was able to help. So, this time, while the world is in a What Else moment, I couldn’t help but feel a little grateful, a LOT grateful, that we made it through the last time. I will keep this prompt near for the bad days. And since I’m now caffeinated and writing this for me more than anyone who might have read it this far, the day we found out about my husbands tumor, I woke up to our 18 year old cat peeing on my head. Now, I giggle.
Omg 😱 peeing on your head! Funny but horrible too.
I know! I woke up to it and he had never done that before nor has he done it since. And I have to explain that I messed up the sequence of things - here they are - husband was in terrible pain and ultimately an mri was done - I bought phish food to cheer him up - he broke his tooth on the phish food and was waiting for the dentist to call when his doctor said he would need emergency spine surgery to remove a tumor - and we went to sleep on that news and it was the next morning when I woke up to my poor old man kitty peeing on my head. He sensed the stress i am sure. But it was such a what else day!
How is your husband doing now? Yes, the absurd (albeit slightly gross) things force us to laugh in a way many wouldn't.
Thanks for asking! He is miraculously ok! And the cat is fine too! It was such a weird and terrible time. I love this community for letting me remember it through this lens!
The mental image of the cat peeing is hilarious. I have had those days that are so awful that the final straw ends up making me laugh because it has been an absurdly bad day. It almost makes me feel invincible.
Exactly. The absurdity of these things makes me laugh. Like when my teabag burst into flames, the best response (after hitting "cancel") was to laugh.
You lead an adventurous life! 😆❤️
With a candle lit and my coffee perfect, my new routine of this 30-day project has brought in 2026 with newness and introspection that I have been craving. Thank you. The ten images were beautiful. My portrait was so bad it was funny. The silence was Quaker-like. Day 11, today's prompt, is the first to find me unsettled. The story of the panty-hose resonated, and I have vowed in the past never to attend a funeral alone. However, not every prompt is for every person. I imagine there is an unseen fulcrum between a cathartic airing of grievances and straight-up complaining. Today's fulcrum seemed to tilt me towards complaining. And I am not a complainer. Did I not write long enough? Am I afraid to break open the piñata of troubles? Sigh. I will add this reflection to the entry, and see if that "lives the question" for me.
Julie, Thank you for writing this post using the perfect choice of words to express your feelings. Never too late to "break open the pinata of troubles". I did this AM and it changed everything. From dismal gray to vibrant sky blue. Onward!
Ah thé panty hose predicament- I have been there so often I have abandoned the very idea of panty hose - I have struggled so many years with my body image that I can’t even remember when I last wore a pair. Now with my recent weight loss I am considering the challenge of facing finding a pair that fits but I doubt I will explore the possibility. I think I will continue to see how I can use long socks or knee highs and choose skirts or dresses that are probably a tad too long so the panty hose issue is ignored. On the subject of funerals as a singer who began in the church - I remember clearly the first funeral I sang for - my sweet grandmother- I was in 9th grade and she suddenly passed away from heart attack. Right now I have lost count of how many funerals I have sung for maybe several hundred perhaps? The last funeral I tried to sing for was my father - I didn’t make it through the service - half way through I turned it over to the other singer thankfully to give me space to grieve for my beloved father and stand with my siblings. I decided then that is my last funeral to sing for I needed to be present to the grief versus stepping into the performing mode. Sigh funerals are such strange ceremonies of the milestone of letting go of this human body and acknowledging the awareness of the unseen existence we all will experience. Interesting thoughts todays prompt - right?
"Pinata [excuse my lack of proper tilde] of troubles" -- wow, that's a keeper!
Sometimes, when I used to wake up in the morning with “a piñata of troubles” the best thing would be to go back to sleep. That is if you aren’t at work or if your schedule isn’t too crammed. Maybe just for an hour. Reset or as we put it “Wake up on the right side of the bed. It’s been quite awhile since this has happened to me but I am remembering when I was younger this used to happen to me.
I’m very grateful that yours was the first comment I read! With you in solidarity
I interpreted this question less as a question about complaint per se than about looking at something that is bothering or upsetting you and asking yourself is that level of description what is really disturbing you, or is there a reason beneath that makes it bother you so, like a child's rabbit hole of 'why' questions.
Your deep and honest grappling seems like a small miracle. Assessing, turning over, sitting with, carving out a space where the truth can arrive. So powerful.
This prompt inspired my first Substack post. I hope you'll check it out.
https://open.substack.com/pub/karabiacharya/p/late-stage-individualism?r=270u18&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
beautiful prompt and beatuiful essay on the prompt. i love the idea of the last thing to make us lose ourselves is an accumulation of all the other, unsaid or unvoiced things. i couldn't agree more.
here are a few of mine from my writing this morning:
what else?
i am deeply lonely, and deeply loved
i am finding my way in this new land and language, and i also feel shut down
i am gracious and kind to myself, and exacting and unforgiving, my hardest taskmaster
i am weighed down by what comes next, and also delighting in the beauties of this moment: salmon soup with dill, thick wool socks, chewy archipelago bread dunked in said soup, the sharp salt in my nose from the Baltic sea
I found this one so hard. Difficult to get to that catharsis she speaks of. I feel like my what else, just keeps going….
I'm 77 yo, and one thing I've learned in life is to not "use" the weather as an excuse to not get outside for a walk or run. If it's too cold/wet, get proper clothing and layers to mitigate the effects. Layers are the answer. No big "puffy" coats. A merino blend turtleneck (Costco) and mid-weight poplin jacket (barrier to wind) (waterproof if necessary), work well. Anything knit/permeable, such as sweatshirts, etc, don't keep out the wind.) As you move, you heat up. Plus, wool blend sox from Costco, hat, and Smart Wool liner gloves. If it's too hot, you head out earlier in the day with visor and sunscreen. In other words, spending 30 - 60 minutes outside every day, regardless of weather, will do more for your mood and energy than anything else I know. Moving and exercise are the best antidotes to depression and anxiety. Bad weather? No excuse.
Wow, yes, amazing to know I’m not alone in this week cracking and breaking. ❤️ Thanks for sharing.
I have started to call those micro grievances the icing on the cupcake of coming undone. The final flourish on top of a cake made of grievances. My last 'pantyhose' moment was finally losing it and swearing/ yelling at the gale force wind whipping around me as I tried to take washing from the line. My husband and I had such a bad 6 months last year we were terrified to even say out loud 'What else'. But I love the idea of moving through the list in a quiet steady way which may dissolve the tears that build up in those worst days. Thank you so much for this day 11.
I remember…
Im sitting in the hospital with Dr R, who is holding my hand and telling me that my first round 7-3 of chemo did not work to bring my blasts down. Then she is telling me that we will try again, that it may just take more time. I am alone, my husband not yet able to move into my hospital room with me. It is Covid era, and no one else can visit, one has to move in and stay. I am not allowed out of the room but for 8 PM, when we can shuffle around the square block, the walking dead. It is taking time to organize pet care, bill paying and household stuff so that he can move in with me and help in the hospital. It is unknown how long he will have to stay, and his elderly father is also in the hospital. Not the same one, unfortunately. But at least in the same city. I am feverish, the chemo is killing my immune system. I tell myself, it will be better tomorrow. Late that night my fever rises. Harpies dressed in white-or are they angels?-hover around my bed, filling tube after tube with blood. What is causing the infection? We may never know, it is a FUO. Fever of unknown origin.. perhaps it is despair, perhaps it is the relentless 24-7 drip of chemo, perhaps perhaps. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.
That became my nightly mantra. The words I said to myself when ‘what else’ loomed. I learned never ever to ask what else. Only to say to myself, tomorrow will be better…
I had a brief What else? moment equivalent to the pantyhose incident that involved a designer dress I wore about 8 years ago. I had worn this beautiful black dress with embroidered flowers and sequins in my favorite colors to a friend's 40th birthday bash. I remembered feeling beautiful and confident in that dress. I received compliments and was told I was the best dressed at the party (other than the birthday girl, of course). Then 5 years ago I received my cancer diagnosis. This was followed by an SCT and several relapses requiring steroids, radiation and every form of chemotherapy and immunotherapy they could throw at me. This past fall I felt great. I was in remission for 18 months, active and back to what I thought was my healthy weight. My nephew was getting married and I was looking forward to dressing up, seeing my family and dancing the night away in that beautiful designer dress that I had only worn once. I didn't need to spend money I said to myself, I have a dress, shoes, a purse, everything. The moment of truth came a couple of weeks before the wedding when I decided to try-out my fabulous look from 2017. The dress was tight. The hemline was much shorter than I remembered and my skin was bulging in all the wrong places. Illness and age had taken its toll. In the grand scheme of things, it was a small problem. The only casualty was my ego.
I quickly ordered a new dress with a forgiving cut and a midi hemline. With my hair and make-up done I felt pretty again. My husband and sons said I was beautiful. We had a ball at the wedding. This won't be the last blow to my sense of self but seeing the lighter side of life and having people to share it with makes all the difference. I also have a new go-to party dress ;)
Suleika, Your essay this morning expresses what happens next, when you are walking out onto a frozen lake and no one knows about your choice to do this. How frozen? Will the ice hold? How far out will you gingerly seep across the ice, ‘as if’ a skater... and why are you there? because...? In fact, there is no real reason, except I am held on this ice; I am frozen too, aware of four limbs extending the weight over a bigger area, without a rescue plan other than avoiding the cracking sound, and breathing for hope. The moment where I find an escape route... Childhood in New England.
As always Suleika, this weeks newsletter was great and awe aspiring. However, my connection to this weak story is relatable. We tend to wake up in moods that do not represent who we are and we take a moment to look in the mirror, we may not recognize that person. It happens to me, usually after a terrible nights sleep. In the case of Molly, lots of emotions, maybe hormonal, but nevertheless they are valid feelings. I follow Stoicism and this is a continual learning process to become a better person. Keeping connection with family and friends is challenging enough, but we need to remember that there are things in life we can and cannot control. If we can identify what those are, then we are on the right road to Eudaimonia! You are what makes my Sunday mornings. Thank you for sharing!
I am always encouraged to read the sensitive thoughts written in these comments. It's not a "what else?" kind of day for me. It was a really lovely day and I felt a bit spoiled.
Last week, every day was packed and there were many challenges. Then Friday and Saturday were rather sad. But Sunday at our church, I was fully blessed by the music and also encouraged by the words two visitors shared: They were both born in Nigeria, left alone to live with their rather old grandmother for 5 or 6 years after their mother moved to England, and then at age 11, the two of them were flown to England to reunite with their mother. Not an easy life. In their new surroundings, everything was so different, they didn't speak English, and each day was a huge challenge. Now both in their 60's they shared a lot of wisdom.
And then Sunday afternoon the wind was horrible so I had the wisdom, or at least the common sense, to stay home with a hot cup of tea while my husband walked our dear Lab, James.
Listening and asking the right questions. A beautiful way to support a loved one. And it's usually the pantyhose. Or the cheese. You see, we don't have much cheese here in Japan and it's quite costly. SO in 2011, when we had the triple disaster (nuclear, earthquake and tsunami) here. An acquaintance needed a place to stay. And she ate all the cheese in the fridge. I head been quite heroic helping people all day, but...no the cheese. That broke me. At least until I had to get up again the next morning and find some clean drinking water to transport in the big truck to the folks up north. Problems like pantyhose and cheese really sting. Yet they don't last very long. It's the huge problems that lurk just below the surface that we need to be ready for.
Dear Suleika,
Something "wider and truer". These words resonate with me so. Yes, it might be a small, petty thing that brings you over the top and that you focus on, but it is really something 'wider and truer'--and bigger and smarter and deeper, and allowing yourself to seeing that, is the way out. Thank you as always.