Prompt 241. Making a Home in the Wilderness

& Tatiana Gallardo on self-portraits

Hi friend,

Today is Day 30 of our Art of Journaling project—I can’t believe it’s already here! It’s been an incredible month, and returning to this daily practice, especially in tandem with this community, has been transformative. I find myself less overwhelmed; I start each day with a clearer mind. As community member Thea wrote in the comments section the other day, “Journaling is like hitting the ‘release pressure’ button for my brain, and it releases all the noise—so I can open up to the world in front of me, and see and hear what’s here, instead of what’s in my head.”

That’s exactly it. Journaling allows me to cut through the noise, to confront and contain my fear and anxiety, which recently has been showing up all over the place. Anxiety about the past manifests as night terrors, anxiety about the future as insomnia. As I’ve been tiptoeing back into the wider world, I’ve felt an onrush of social anxiety. Before every outing, before every friend date, I panic. I think, “Should I go shopping and get a new outfit? Dye my hair? Change my whole look?” As if the answer to my anxiety is becoming a whole different person.

How different it is from a year ago. In the bone marrow transplant unit, I wasn’t anxious about what I was wearing or who I was seeing. Was I anxious about the future then? Certainly, I was—I knew I’d be lucky to survive. But I also had the clarity that comes with being faced with your own mortality. I wanted and needed exactly two things: to spend time with the people I love and to find a creative language to express what felt inexpressible.

Because I didn’t want it to feel like work, and because I didn’t want there to be any pressure, I chose painting. Was that a good use of six months of my life, when I could have been working on something that was clearly in my lane—like my next book proposal? That didn’t matter to me then. In a way nothing mattered, other than trying to stay alive. I did what I needed to do to keep myself as happy and sane as possible on that quest.

And honestly, more than just helping me survive that time, my creative practice has allowed me to be more fully myself. When I was younger, I had all these different interests—music and writing and dance and visual art—but at some point, I felt like I had to choose one thing, to pick one specific career trajectory. Now, whatever barriers I had erected between these creative disciplines have been dismantled. Instead of thinking “I have to focus on this one and take a step away from that one,” I can embrace them all.

Our 30-day journaling project has provided this clarity. Returning to the page and revisiting these old prompts, I see how much in life has changed, what has stayed the same, and most of all what I want more of. This work is what allows me to fully accept who I am, wherever I am—whether I’m sick or well, writing or painting, or anything in between.

The same is true for today’s prompt contributor, the writer and illustrator Tatiana Gallardo. You may remember Tati from last summer—she shared an essay and prompt about how the word “brazen” changed her relationship with the world, allowing her to take up her rightful space, boldly and without shame. Today, she writes about how a daily drawing practice has allowed her to do the same.

Sending love,

Suleika

Our 30-day Art of Journaling project, available for one more month—

Now that we’ve reached the end of our 30-day project, the only thing I can say is—what a true testament to the power of journaling. I’ve been poring over the community’s responses over the past few days and been so thrilled to read messages like this one, from Susan: “I surrendered to the allure of it, thinking, This! This is what I actually need right now... And it has proven to be true.”

And this one, from Sharon: “With every set of prompts, I’ve been stretched. With every set complete, I think, Oh these, were my favorites…”

And this one, from Westley: “This experience has been truly transformative, and I do not use that word lightly. The vulnerability, creativity, magic of these prompts and this community; I am in awe.”

And finally, this one from Beth: “I knew the intention to journal was perfect for me when the start date was revealed to be my birthday, April 1! A friend then gave me a beautiful journal. However, on April 2nd, after avoiding it for three years, I got Covid. I simply did not want this opportunity to be about Covid, and due to your gentleness with yourself and your permission to do what feels right, I am now anticipating starting anew on May 1.”

Did you miss the start date? Or fall off and want to pick it back up? The 30-day Art of Journaling project will be available for one more month. Find everything you need here:

Prompt 241. The Artist I Always Denied by Tatiana Gallardo

I never saw myself as an artist. My father, a painter and creative director, was the artist of the family. His work covered our walls. His “quick” sketches resembled Picasso’s. And his creativity came to him with an ease I could only envy. 

As a child, I loved creating—in English class, art class, and everyday after school. I would lose myself in drawing, but my elementary sketches could never compete with my father’s. So I stopped drawing and decided I’d become a writer instead.

A year ago, I began a 100-day drawing challenge because I wanted to remember what it felt like to draw for fun again. Most of all, I wanted to remember what it felt like to draw for myself again.

Drawing has since become my favorite daily ritual. It has all the liberating, self-reflective benefits of stream-of-conscious journaling—just in visual form. In my visual journal, I don’t chase perfection. I just play. Marker on paper. Thoughts on the page. Oftentimes, I draw something I used to never dare: a self-portrait. I learn more about myself every single time.

Recently, I heard someone say, "You are what you do."

I write. So I’m a writer.

I journal. So I’m a journal-er.

And now—I draw. So I’m an artist. 

Your prompt for the week:

Without thinking, draw a self-portrait. What are you wearing? What surrounds you? What are you saying? Introduce yourself to yourself.

If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section, in our Facebook group, or on Instagram by tagging @theisolationjournals.

Today’s Contributor–

Tatiana Gallardo is a marker-wielding writer and illustrator. You can subscribe to her newsletter, Brazenface, which chronicles her adventures in facing all her fears—like becoming a digital nomad, redownloading Tinder, and most recently: finally mustering the courage to share her art on Instagram.

For more paid subscriber benefits, see—

• The 30-Day Journaling Project, where we explore the art of journaling and all it can contain

• Beholding the Body, an installment of Dear Susu where I write about how painting and visiting Frida Kahlo’s Casa Azul helped me answer the question, “How do you make peace with the changes in your body and appearance?”

• The Isolation Journals Chat, where I’ve been posting regular check-ins for our Art of Journaling project and where we’ve been cultivating a vibrant creative community