Hi friends,
Back in December, I spent five long, consecutive days in a one-room cabin, recording my audiobook for Between Two Kingdoms. I went into it a little scared, that maybe I’d cringe at some turn of phrase, or regret what I’d included, or find typos that would make me facepalm and headdesk. The experience wasn’t like that at all. I felt a measure of pride, but more than that, I felt a deep sense of awe and wonder and gratitude toward the many people who populate its pages. I kept thinking how if a terrible thing hadn’t happened to me, I would never have met any of these folks. Each of them blasted my vision and world a little wider. Each of them has profoundly impacted my life and continue to do so.
This week, and in the weeks to come, you’ll be hearing from some of those special individuals. Today it’s my great honor to introduce you to the filmmaker Shayla Harris. I met Shayla through my New York Times column, which I had pitched as an unpublished 23-year-old who’d spent the last year in a hospital room awaiting a bone marrow transplant. I was excited about writing the column, but I also knew that when you’re ill, it’s sometimes hard to summon the energy even to read, so I also pitched the idea of a video series, and I was elated when the Times paired me with Shayla. I was confident that an experienced and talented videographer like her would offer a different way in.
What I didn’t expect is that I would see my story anew. When I watched the first in the series, I was struck by one moment in particular. Shayla’s camera shows me sitting on an exam table, and I’m laughing, talking with my doctor. Then Shayla shifts the focus and tightens the frame on my mother, who sits in a chair in the background. My mother leans against a bare hospital wall, and she appears exhausted and sad—another word that comes to mind is devastated. But when I glance back at her, she quickly rearranges her face into a big smile, even gives a little laugh.
I was almost a year into treatment then, and of course, I knew that it was hard on all of us. But I had never seen that look on my mother’s face—because she had never wanted me to see it. She was focused on being strong for me, and she was doing her best to shield me from the full toll the illness was taking. Whenever I go back and look at that video, it still chokes me up. Each time, it reminds me of the very hard, very beautiful truth: that if you’re lucky, when you’re going through your most difficult time, you’re not the only one hurting. Your loved ones are also living with that pain; they’re carrying a burden too. But when you’re deep in it, it can be hard to see that.
This is the magic of film, but it’s also Shayla’s gift as a storyteller and as a filmmaker. She seeks out those quiet moments, those expressions, those interactions that might go unnoticed by someone else. She’s an expert in looking closely—and in today’s prompt, that’s what she invites us to do.
With love,
Suleika
Looking Before Leaping by Shayla Harris
As a shy bookish child, my largest feature was a pair of watchful eyes. I often spent hours pouring over coffee table books on famous artists, or studying National Geographic photo essays of distant lands, or watching sitcoms on an endless loop late into the night. Instead of rushing to fill the room with my voice or impulsively performing for strangers, I preferred to suss out the situation first before jumping in and acting. Looking before leaping became a way of navigating life.
As a budding high school journalist, I soon discovered that having a camera allowed me to disappear in a room full of strangers. At first, a sturdy Pentax K-1000 gifted to me by my grandparents was my trusted companion; over the years, it would be replaced by a progression of digital video cameras. But it wasn’t until deep into my career as a journalist and filmmaker that I came to appreciate how a keen sense of observation could be a useful superpower. People often talk about the ability to read a room. There are subtle shifts in facial expressions and body language that words can obscure. Character is often revealed in these quiet moments. And, I believe that there is a real intimacy and understanding that can be developed when you're really seeing and looking at someone without judgment.
To train my journalism and documentary students in the art of observation, I have them do a day-in-the-life profile of someone they don’t know. They cannot interview the person directly, but can only be a fly on the wall, watching and listening intently to their subjects as they go about their business. They have to look—taking in every nuance, noting each detail—rather than making leaps.
Your prompt :
Take time to observe someone near you—a loved one, a stranger, someone passing by your window. Look for the subtleties, like their facial expressions, their posture. Record every detail. Catalogue what they say without words.
About Shayla Harris
Based in New York, Shayla Harris is an award-winning documentary director and producer whose work has been featured on NETFLIX, HBO, Dateline NBC, The New York Times and The New Yorker. She co-directed The Black Church, a two-part series hosted by Henry Louis Gates, that will air on PBS in February 2021 and was recently a producer on the Emmy-nominated series Who Killed Malcolm X?
Photo by Stefania Rouselle.