322 Comments
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad

I walked to the mailbox without using a walking stick for the first time in six months. After having surgery to remove a brain tumor in mid-January, I didn’t know whether this would ever be possible again. The feeling that we never know what’s possible is one to hold onto.

Expand full comment
author

This makes me so happy. A stroll—without walking assistance—feels like a new kind of freedom and hope. Sending you love

Expand full comment

Bedazzled as she may be, it must have been so freaking joyous to finally walk on your own without your walker.

Expand full comment

Yes! Glorious! I see this as encouragement to keep pushing a little farther. Thank you

Expand full comment

Sending you love back.

Expand full comment

Amazing the mobility we take for granted.

Wishing you many happy trips to the mailbox!

Expand full comment

Yes! This is the second time so had to start over- I was paralyzed from the waist down when so was 15.

Thank you Sue!

Expand full comment

Way to go you! That’s fantastic and the just start or so many more unaided steps! Hooray!

Expand full comment

Thank you Ann! I must keep the door open to all possibilities!

Expand full comment

Definitely! I’m a below knee amputee so I’m so understand the feeling of freedom walking unaided. It’s a simple thing but it’s huge! Praying many many more adventure for you in the future!

Expand full comment

I’m sure you know exactly the feeling. Thank you for your support!

Expand full comment

Linda. Standing ovation to you. Wishing healing.

Expand full comment

Thank you Susan

Expand full comment

What an incredible moment for you--congratulations, Linda!

Expand full comment

Thank you Sue!

Expand full comment

Absolutely beautiful!

Expand full comment

Aww thank you Helen

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022·edited Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

I found an adult swift stranded on a narrow medieval street in Italy. I cradled him gently in my two hands, and quickly walked the few blocks to the bridge above a river. I gently let him free fall a wee bit as swifts need to do in order to engage their wings and fly away. This act of rescue gave me great joy.

Expand full comment
author

So tender, so joyous 🕊

Expand full comment

to hold this trusting bird in my hands was a gift alone...he accepted my help and his flight was my reward.

Expand full comment
author

Oh, this is such a beautiful image. Thank you for sharing.

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley

When I woke up this morning, my first thoughts were that nothing matters. That even the people I love, the days I live, everything, is dull, disconnected and alien. It occurred to me that this might be the voice of real depression talking, and as such, I should not listen. That voice is full of anxiety and fear for our world and all the people in it. I got up and took my coffee over to my computer where I found today's email from Suleika with its title, "Reasons to Live Through the Apocalypse." For the price of a subscription, there, in my inbox, were reasons to live. I started reading and without finishing, jumped up to retrieve my journal. I had not written yesterday, the first day I had missed since beginning the 100 Day Project. Thinking of the subtitle of the email, "a meditation on small joys and a poem by Nikita Gill," I wrote about my own small joys: my grandchild's smile, the smell of crabapple blossoms, the warmth of the springtime sun, my husband's hand in mine. I felt a call to be in the moment, to come away from thinking about this moment in history and to return to this moment of my breath rising and falling. I finished reading the email and prompt, and decided to write this thank you to you, Suleika, Nikita and this community. We don't have any idea about the impact we make in this world, do we?

Expand full comment
Apr 25, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley

You acted!!! And wrote! I applaud your courage and wisdom to do this. It is so easy to let the blanket of depression captive one in their bed. May the small joys continue to nurture you.

Expand full comment
author

It's so hard sometimes, and yet there are so many reasons to live. Much much love to you, Sherry, and thank you for sharing this gorgeous note with all of us ❤️

Expand full comment

I’m glad you’re here with us Sherry. ♥️

Expand full comment

Thank you Sherry for reminding us with your own reflection that depression tries to take away the joy that is there for us. Anxiety and fear seem to lurk waiting to rope us in. This site and my subscription are the inspiration and company I need, like you, and so many of us we need others to find out way.

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley

The smile on my husband’s face and the peace in his voice as he got into the car after his first outpatient platelet transfusion, sharing the details of how each person who helped him through the process made him feel comfortable and hopeful. I wanted to cry tears of gratitude.

Expand full comment
author

This moved me so much. I have an eternal debt of gratitude to all the people who help care for the sick and go above and beyond to make you feel like a human first, a patient second. Bless them, and bless you and your husband ♥️

Expand full comment

Human first, patient second. That’s exactly it. People are not their diagnosis.

Expand full comment

As someone who works in an emergency room I strive to be present for all my patients and treat them as humans even when they don’t believe that they are worthy.

Expand full comment

Veronica... such a tender image. Thank you for sharing it.

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley

After a sleepless night due to treatment side effects, the dawn breaking and birds stirring as I drink delicious coffee

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad

For me, it's tea....and the birds are lovely. Sisters in sleeplessness find the hidden joys.

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad

Good morning 😊💞

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad

Hope you feel better

Expand full comment
author

Insomnia from treatment side effects is the worst. Hope you are able to get some rest ♥️

Expand full comment

Thank you!! ❤️

Expand full comment

mmmm....yes coffee...that first sip in the morning...mana from heaven

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

Not a prose poem, but a haiku instead.

Morning hot green tea

Signals to start a new day

What joys will unfold?

Expand full comment
author

❤️❤️❤️

Expand full comment
author

What gorgeous words to kick off a Sunday. Thank you ♥️

Expand full comment

Wonderful! I love it! So hopeful! ( I struggle being hopeful.) Thank you for sharing this!

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley

Wordle every morning before dawn. My one year old granddaughter calling out my name for the first time- repeatedly and with urgency.

Expand full comment
author

Oh my goodness. Your sweet granddaughter. What a beautiful memory to hold onto. ♥️

Expand full comment

I look forward to Wordle but only after my first sip of coffee.

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

Listening to your husband Jon's gorgeous rendition of "What A Wonderful World."

Expand full comment
author

I get tears in my eyes each time I listen to it.

Expand full comment

Me too. I play it for my grandson from another mother and grandparents at night before he goes to sleep. He is 18 months old and stays with me one to two nights a week to give his parents, a midwife and Er nurse some alone time. We dance to Freedom, I Need You, and sing We Are through the day.

Expand full comment

I love it when he says “ Self” to himself in the last verse. I listen for it every time😍

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

While working my way through COVID this week my daughter showered me with photos and videos of my 15 month old grandson. I cling to and revisit every one to get me through each day. Small joys indeed.

Expand full comment
author

Hope you’re on the mend. Wishing you a quick recovery and more grandson content! ♥️

Expand full comment

Grandchildren are the best. They give the strength to persist, survive and thrive.

Expand full comment

They give such unbelievable free love!

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

One small joy from last week that I'd like to hold onto... a friend called me for no reason whatsoever. Just to say hi, to hear my voice...no other reason at all. It was the sweetest, lightest conversation, and when I hung up I smiled, shook my head, and said to myself "that felt SO good." Love for no reason.

Expand full comment
author

So lovely, this idea: "to hear my voice" ❤️

Expand full comment

Love for no reason, what a powerful feeling.

Expand full comment

Seeing that my peony bush is blooming.

Expand full comment
author

Peonies—my favorite! Hope you make yourself a gorgeous little bouquet.

Expand full comment

They are my favorite as well! A complete spring surprise when we bought our home in NC…

Can’t wait to make the bouquets!

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

The explosion of spring blooms in my neighborhood. So simple, so basic, but they give me an almost euphoric pleasure.

Expand full comment
author

It’s my favorite time of year for this reason. I love watching the landscape transform🌷♥️

Expand full comment

It’s magical… like nothing else. It’s proof of life. Proof of love. Sending love to you, Suleika. 🙏💕

Expand full comment

And it progresses so quickly right on time!

Expand full comment

Even in Apocalypse there will be blooms from Mother Nature. I am confident

Expand full comment

During the height of COVID the flowers were magnificent. Nature did not get the memo that the world had shut down.

Expand full comment

I can just picture it...favorite time of year

Expand full comment

You CAN picture it, if you find my post in Isolation Journals yesterday! 😘🌷

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

Every Sunday reading your post is my joy - I look forward to it more than my morning tea! I have had a really hellish 24 hours of pain and nausea and IV this that and the other (I know you understand) and I woke this morning to this picture of you with that brilliant life inspiring smile on your face and am reminded of how much power little joys and pleasures have in overcoming the hard moments. I threw myself into the shower at 4am much to the nurses’ chagrin (they are used to me being their early bird now) and I finally feel human enough to properly thank you for again making my Sunday morning and my journey brighter by sharing yours. I hope one day to be able to write as eloquently and to share my own journey of hope with others like you have. I am so grateful for you and so happy to hear that you got out for a walk! I have been trying to get to the ocean for days now and I am hoping that maybe today might be the day…

Tulips are my mum’s fave (she is sleeping beside me right now - does your mumma stay with you?) so I am considering your frolicking amidst the tulips a good sign 😉

So much love for you Susu - I feel like I know you since you are a constant presence in my day to day life and I can’t imagine walking this path without your spirit by my side

xoxo

Expand full comment
author

Much love, Tara ❤️

Expand full comment
author

So much love to you, dear Tara. Thinking of you ♥️

Expand full comment

Sending healing thoughts, Tara.

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

A good, deep belly laugh with girlfriends. The kind that makes you pee in your pants a little. Also…surprise FaceTime calls from my son and his girlfriend, just to say hi.

Learning to play pickleball and making a nice shot after many embarrassing misses. Pink flowering trees that show up reliably but are here for such a short time. These few peaceful Sunday morning moments of writing. Finding a great quote, like this one:

“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” ~Albert Einstein

Expand full comment
author

What brightness! Thank you for sharing, Jill ❤️

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley

To take one more picture, read more book, and play “Freedom” one more time!

Expand full comment
author

♥️♥️♥️

Expand full comment
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Carmen Radley, Suleika Jaouad

The Smiles on my son and his girlfriend as they walked through McCaren Park yesterday.

Expand full comment
author

Love this ♥️

Expand full comment