I walked to the mailbox without using a walking stick for the first time in six months. After having surgery to remove a brain tumor in mid-January, I didn’t know whether this would ever be possible again. The feeling that we never know what’s possible is one to hold onto.
Apr 24, 2022·edited Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
I found an adult swift stranded on a narrow medieval street in Italy. I cradled him gently in my two hands, and quickly walked the few blocks to the bridge above a river. I gently let him free fall a wee bit as swifts need to do in order to engage their wings and fly away. This act of rescue gave me great joy.
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
When I woke up this morning, my first thoughts were that nothing matters. That even the people I love, the days I live, everything, is dull, disconnected and alien. It occurred to me that this might be the voice of real depression talking, and as such, I should not listen. That voice is full of anxiety and fear for our world and all the people in it. I got up and took my coffee over to my computer where I found today's email from Suleika with its title, "Reasons to Live Through the Apocalypse." For the price of a subscription, there, in my inbox, were reasons to live. I started reading and without finishing, jumped up to retrieve my journal. I had not written yesterday, the first day I had missed since beginning the 100 Day Project. Thinking of the subtitle of the email, "a meditation on small joys and a poem by Nikita Gill," I wrote about my own small joys: my grandchild's smile, the smell of crabapple blossoms, the warmth of the springtime sun, my husband's hand in mine. I felt a call to be in the moment, to come away from thinking about this moment in history and to return to this moment of my breath rising and falling. I finished reading the email and prompt, and decided to write this thank you to you, Suleika, Nikita and this community. We don't have any idea about the impact we make in this world, do we?
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
The smile on my husband’s face and the peace in his voice as he got into the car after his first outpatient platelet transfusion, sharing the details of how each person who helped him through the process made him feel comfortable and hopeful. I wanted to cry tears of gratitude.
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
While working my way through COVID this week my daughter showered me with photos and videos of my 15 month old grandson. I cling to and revisit every one to get me through each day. Small joys indeed.
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
One small joy from last week that I'd like to hold onto... a friend called me for no reason whatsoever. Just to say hi, to hear my voice...no other reason at all. It was the sweetest, lightest conversation, and when I hung up I smiled, shook my head, and said to myself "that felt SO good." Love for no reason.
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
Every Sunday reading your post is my joy - I look forward to it more than my morning tea! I have had a really hellish 24 hours of pain and nausea and IV this that and the other (I know you understand) and I woke this morning to this picture of you with that brilliant life inspiring smile on your face and am reminded of how much power little joys and pleasures have in overcoming the hard moments. I threw myself into the shower at 4am much to the nurses’ chagrin (they are used to me being their early bird now) and I finally feel human enough to properly thank you for again making my Sunday morning and my journey brighter by sharing yours. I hope one day to be able to write as eloquently and to share my own journey of hope with others like you have. I am so grateful for you and so happy to hear that you got out for a walk! I have been trying to get to the ocean for days now and I am hoping that maybe today might be the day…
Tulips are my mum’s fave (she is sleeping beside me right now - does your mumma stay with you?) so I am considering your frolicking amidst the tulips a good sign 😉
So much love for you Susu - I feel like I know you since you are a constant presence in my day to day life and I can’t imagine walking this path without your spirit by my side
Apr 24, 2022Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
A good, deep belly laugh with girlfriends. The kind that makes you pee in your pants a little. Also…surprise FaceTime calls from my son and his girlfriend, just to say hi.
Learning to play pickleball and making a nice shot after many embarrassing misses. Pink flowering trees that show up reliably but are here for such a short time. These few peaceful Sunday morning moments of writing. Finding a great quote, like this one:
“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” ~Albert Einstein
I walked to the mailbox without using a walking stick for the first time in six months. After having surgery to remove a brain tumor in mid-January, I didn’t know whether this would ever be possible again. The feeling that we never know what’s possible is one to hold onto.
I found an adult swift stranded on a narrow medieval street in Italy. I cradled him gently in my two hands, and quickly walked the few blocks to the bridge above a river. I gently let him free fall a wee bit as swifts need to do in order to engage their wings and fly away. This act of rescue gave me great joy.
When I woke up this morning, my first thoughts were that nothing matters. That even the people I love, the days I live, everything, is dull, disconnected and alien. It occurred to me that this might be the voice of real depression talking, and as such, I should not listen. That voice is full of anxiety and fear for our world and all the people in it. I got up and took my coffee over to my computer where I found today's email from Suleika with its title, "Reasons to Live Through the Apocalypse." For the price of a subscription, there, in my inbox, were reasons to live. I started reading and without finishing, jumped up to retrieve my journal. I had not written yesterday, the first day I had missed since beginning the 100 Day Project. Thinking of the subtitle of the email, "a meditation on small joys and a poem by Nikita Gill," I wrote about my own small joys: my grandchild's smile, the smell of crabapple blossoms, the warmth of the springtime sun, my husband's hand in mine. I felt a call to be in the moment, to come away from thinking about this moment in history and to return to this moment of my breath rising and falling. I finished reading the email and prompt, and decided to write this thank you to you, Suleika, Nikita and this community. We don't have any idea about the impact we make in this world, do we?
The smile on my husband’s face and the peace in his voice as he got into the car after his first outpatient platelet transfusion, sharing the details of how each person who helped him through the process made him feel comfortable and hopeful. I wanted to cry tears of gratitude.
After a sleepless night due to treatment side effects, the dawn breaking and birds stirring as I drink delicious coffee
Not a prose poem, but a haiku instead.
Morning hot green tea
Signals to start a new day
What joys will unfold?
Wordle every morning before dawn. My one year old granddaughter calling out my name for the first time- repeatedly and with urgency.
Listening to your husband Jon's gorgeous rendition of "What A Wonderful World."
While working my way through COVID this week my daughter showered me with photos and videos of my 15 month old grandson. I cling to and revisit every one to get me through each day. Small joys indeed.
One small joy from last week that I'd like to hold onto... a friend called me for no reason whatsoever. Just to say hi, to hear my voice...no other reason at all. It was the sweetest, lightest conversation, and when I hung up I smiled, shook my head, and said to myself "that felt SO good." Love for no reason.
Seeing that my peony bush is blooming.
The explosion of spring blooms in my neighborhood. So simple, so basic, but they give me an almost euphoric pleasure.
Every Sunday reading your post is my joy - I look forward to it more than my morning tea! I have had a really hellish 24 hours of pain and nausea and IV this that and the other (I know you understand) and I woke this morning to this picture of you with that brilliant life inspiring smile on your face and am reminded of how much power little joys and pleasures have in overcoming the hard moments. I threw myself into the shower at 4am much to the nurses’ chagrin (they are used to me being their early bird now) and I finally feel human enough to properly thank you for again making my Sunday morning and my journey brighter by sharing yours. I hope one day to be able to write as eloquently and to share my own journey of hope with others like you have. I am so grateful for you and so happy to hear that you got out for a walk! I have been trying to get to the ocean for days now and I am hoping that maybe today might be the day…
Tulips are my mum’s fave (she is sleeping beside me right now - does your mumma stay with you?) so I am considering your frolicking amidst the tulips a good sign 😉
So much love for you Susu - I feel like I know you since you are a constant presence in my day to day life and I can’t imagine walking this path without your spirit by my side
xoxo
A good, deep belly laugh with girlfriends. The kind that makes you pee in your pants a little. Also…surprise FaceTime calls from my son and his girlfriend, just to say hi.
Learning to play pickleball and making a nice shot after many embarrassing misses. Pink flowering trees that show up reliably but are here for such a short time. These few peaceful Sunday morning moments of writing. Finding a great quote, like this one:
“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” ~Albert Einstein
To take one more picture, read more book, and play “Freedom” one more time!
The Smiles on my son and his girlfriend as they walked through McCaren Park yesterday.