I resonated strongly with both Anna and Suleika's posts. Many years ago, I was visiting the Centre of Confidence and Wellbeing in Scotland, to do some work. The director at one point looked up from her cluttered desk, smiled and said "I believe it's very difficult to have an organised mind AND an organised desk. I've chosen the former." I've always remembered this when my external spaces are messy. It's usually because I do have a big project going on that needs more of my attention. I do have a shrine of inspiration though. It's my tiny office and all the books are arranged in rainbows, every object has memory, meaning and purpose. For example I have a Japanese corner, and a musical shelf. This space nourishes and inspires me.
Suleika - all the best with the book. Great idea about reading it aloud to a trusted friend. Thank you.
Firstly, I need to say how stunningly beautiful the portrait of you and Lentil is. You both look so relaxed and peaceful. There is a stillness there that belies any ounce of anxiety.
I love the topic of messiness. My mother who had an artist’s soul was very messy. As a child used to be embarrassed to bring anyone home . As an adult, I see how much I am like her and for the same reason, other things were more important than mopping the floor or doing the dishes.
My mother loved to be outdoors. Whether it be in her beloved garden or gathering up kids in the neighbourhood to go on a hike.
I find the notion of tidying up things before doing something, I need to do is avoidance. It’s kind of therapeutic. It’s letting my mind rest. Then when my interior click says “enough”, I get to work.
Perhaps the need for tidiness is a way of avoiding getting to work because you know how sometimes the creative process can be excruciating so you put it off by going through your ritual of everything in its place thereby delaying the agony of it all. Avoidance becomes the enabler. I'm sure you are able to work through it all. Your friends are so precious and kind and helpful to you. Please keep writing all your wonderful messages
And by the way, I just received Beethoven Blues and am very excited to listen to the whole album. Thank you for that. The two of your are truly fortunate to have each other.
Ahhhh...a new book-sending your heart out into the world and hoping it will find the hands and heart of another. As for my creative space, I have come to understand that my creative space is in my head. The output of that creativity can take place anywhere. I wrote the 1st draft of my second book on the steps to the bell tower at St. John's College in Annapolis (while waiting for my daughter as she would pass out from POTS), and the 2nd draft of the same book in The Clarisse Performing Arts Center at The University of Maryland while waiting to pick my daughter up from her internship (she cannot drive due to seizures). I handwrite (which is a pain in the ass because I have to then type it) because I never know when inspiration will hit. Seeing my hand on the pen....a hand I have known all my life, that has taken me from scribbles as a little one to Debut Book Author is art (to me) in itself.
Now that's what I call a freeing attitude! Also, I just love how you blend responsibilities with your art. I know plenty of people who pull out some knitting or hand-sewing while they watch kids soccer games. (also a Marylander here)
Thank you, Robin! It took me awhile to understand that "time" was a gift, and I could utilize that time. At first, I felt guilty, doing things for "me," and then...I didn't. I will say, that a lot of students and Professors (known as "Tutors" at St. John's) asked me if I wanted a "more comfortable place to work." The belltower stairs were beyond inspiring, as I wondered how many students had ascended those stairs over the many years. (The Seniors get to ring the bell when they turn in their Senior Thesis...now it's just a "button" to ring the bell.) Hello, fellow Marylander!
Oh, how I enjoy waking up super early on a Sunday morning ,and reading your Substack entry! I live in a house full of creatives, some messy, some secretly messy, but my dancing daughter and I have that “organize that messy draw thing “ going on. Suleika , you are absolutely spot on about the control stuff. While dancing daughter lived at home , I would find her sitting on the floor arranging her leotards by color and fabric type right before a rehearsal or performance. It was insane. On the other hand ,my painter daughter thrives in messiness, and it drives me crazy. As a Buddhist creative, I believe at my core a working environment free of distraction allows freedom of mind , enabling me to tap into the best parts of my creativity. Be whatever you want to be , please.❤️
A few years ago, I needed to work through some painful old internalized feelings that had sabotaged my creativity for far too long. It was about having confidence in my work and my creativity. It was about strengthening my boundaries to the point that I could recognize and ignore unhelpful criticism. I would no longer allow manipulation (not everyone is happy to see others create) to change the course of my creative desires.
Also, I just needed more space. So, I turned our dining room into my sewing space complete with a large wall for me where I plan my patchwork designs. I claimed my home as MINE when I did that. I do convert the space into a true dining area during the holidays when I host large family parties.
For me, allowing the world to see my work, and how I work- even if it is still in progress, is huge. Since I am tidy by nature, I am not too worried about the "mess". But it has been extremely freeing for me to allow others to see what I am up to and, well, who I am. I figured out how to handle the various reactions from people coming into my home. I am not surrounded by artists. So I guess I am showing them how an creative person operates.
Truth! "...not everyone is happy to see others create." I love this too, "So, I guess I am showing them how a creative person operates." Wow. I never thought of it that way. Thank you.
I’ve found whether I be a messy creative or a neat one, don’t judge myself about it. I happen to be a neatness and orderly creative. I get overwhelmed in a messy space. Dearest Suleika good luck on your new book. You are truly amazing with all of your health challenges and the amount of dreamy work you put out into the universe. Goddess bless you, Carmen, Holly and Jon. It’s amazing to me with all of your health issues, the photographer picked up an element of serenity and grace within you that is truly beautiful. Blessings to our community of love, light, authenticity and wisdom.
Clutter adds to my anxiety, as my anxiety is usually based on feeling like events are beyond my control. So I totally get your impulse to tidy up. There’s also a feeling of productivity that straightening a drawer or clearing a desk brings. A quick hit of dopamine and one less visual reminder that life can be chaotic. I love that photo of you and Lentil. Wishing you, Jon, your pack, and your people a happy Thanksgiving. I’m thankful for you and this community you’ve made.
Yes! Then once that drawer is tidied I get a dopamine hit every time I open it and see how tidy it is. Ha! It’s kind of funny to say, but it can also be quite a powerful little pick-me-up when life is hard. ❤️
You and Lentil are radiant love bugs! So glad you have each other. I was just singing a morning song to CJ Hound. She smiles in sweet harmony. Harmony is a word I’ve embraced lately to make sense of the dissonance and struggle of hard moments. I too have been releasing perfectionism for soft and wild spaces of books and fuzzy dog beds and plants leaning into the sun and favorite rocks and assorted treats in the kitchen. I do crave a certain amount of a minimalist vibe because too much stuff makes my brain cluttered too and then just finding my glasses can be a trip! I’m super excited about your heart’s book coming out when the Spring bulbs break through the soil. May there be peonies and daffodils and so much delight. Thank you to you and Carmen (and Holly too) for the Hatch video. I will enjoy it. Take tender care of yourself and one another. Woof! ♥️💫🐾📚
So looking forward to reading your new book. Thank you for sharing your journey during the final moments of birthing your work. It helps all of us who’ve felt the similar misgivings as we labor to the end.
As for messy work space, I find my space comfortably cluttered. It’s not dirty, but my altar and prayer space is next to my computer and work space. Candles, stones and feathers wind up wherever they want. Books piled everywhere. Barely controlled chaos. My room is the messiest space in our otherwise tidy home.
First of all I wanted to tell everyone (Suleika most likely knows this) the Brooklyn Botanic Garden has a beautiful light show that will be there till the end of December and there is display about butterflies with Jon singing the Butterfly song. I highly recommend going for whoever can make it. Truly magical!
My father always kept an immaculate desk. My mother’s workspace was always covered with piles of paper everywhere. This was a bone of contention for my parents throughout their marriage. For many years my father had his own study and my mother had a desk in the living room.Her papers always ended up covering the dining table and she had to clear the table when guests came which was usually at least once a week. Even twelve years after my father’s death. My mother maintains my father’s study in its pristine state and her office is still strewn with piles of paper. I prefer to have a tidy space, but if it is too tidy I worry that I will make a mess. I do not mind a bit of a clutter but the clutter must be orderly. When I see a room with papers and piles everywhere it makes me extremely anxious and I feel a need to start organizing everything into files, to throw anything not being used and anything that is not current. I am an interesting combination of my parents!
At work I have a tiny space that is not my own. I use different hospital computers and I barely have room for a clipboard and my water bottle. I carry my pens in my lab coat. At home I have a desk where I do my writing and other creative work. The room is used as a guest room. The artwork in the room is eclectic to say the least. There are two huge portraits of tigers given to us by my brother in law that I do not care for. I have picture given to me by a patient’s mother over thirty years ago that I treasure, a painting my son brought us from Mexico, a framed print from our first apartment and, a wall with all my diplomas. There is a bed and a bureau which has a group of religious figures my husband set up Earlier this week someone dear to me asked to see my workspace at home. When I showed it to her she remarked that I did not have any photographs of my son or anyone else on my desk. This made me look at my workspace more closely. She was right. My desk had no personality and had nothing special on it. Like the majority of the furniture in my apartment my desk was a hand-me-down from someone in my family so I did not pick it out. Maybe that is why I never bothered to make it mine. It has a large work surface, but no drawers so I keep my office and art supplies in plastic boxes under my desk. On top of my desk I have a computer and printer, a few office supplies and a wicker basket with the things I am working on. I decided to clean my desk up a bit and put away whatever I do not use all the time like my hole puncher, paper cutter and electric pencil sharpener. I am looking for some photographs to put on my desk. I have already selected one of myself at age seven and I will likely chose a few more.
Love that you read aloud with another. Great way to judge one’s own work. Well I am back from my big 80 trip to Asia. It was fabulous. Had a wonderful trip. The problem is that my two female Chihuahuas are fighting over my attention. This is never happened before and I have traveled a lot. People seem to think that this is quite common, dog dominance, but for me to wake up in the middle of the night suffering from Jetlag and break up a dogfight on my bed in the dark, a real life nightmare! life always has some unexpected challenges, in this case, certainly not something I was expecting nor have experienced before. Took the dominant Chihuahua to the vet to have her checked it for any illness, but mostly I think she wants to be top dog, All 7 pounds of her. So big mama is figuring out how to resolve le probleme du jour. The girls are now sleeping in separate rooms away from big mama. That is what the expert suggested . oy vey😱
My music stand is always present in the living room, a”roommate” awaiting my attention. Amazing how silent this companion can be. Ignored, shifted from here to there, until pulled into the light. Then it’s serious conversation time. I have noticed, when I look, that pages of poems and music are getting well used and ragged as they sit so silently on the music stand. I notice the torn, curled edges for a brief moment, wish this were otherwise, clean, fresh sheets of paper, and then all this is forgotten as I take a deep breath and begin to play. Then, I am no longer in my living room, I have entered the enchanting realm of sound. I am taken deeper and deeper into the depths of sound making and listening. Once in a while I will notice dust gathered on the surface of the music stand. Often, I’ll sweep a finger into the dust to acknowledge its presence, then forget the dust as I take another breath and search for a sweet sound. Occasionally, but not often, i'll remove all the paper from the stand and get a nearby dust cloth and enjoy wiping all the dust away. Truly, there is nothing like a clean, clear surface. That is probably when i most often notice the ragged edges of the sheets of paper. However, very soon i am again taking a deep breath and returning to the quest for sweet sounds. i am then seeing only with my ears, body, and swimming in the inner landscape of sound making. The physical world is in the distant background.
Curiously, when i worked as a potter my studio was very clean. i worked with porcelain and nothing was more pleasing to catch sight of gleaming white bowls sitting on the drying rack, awaiting trimming and glazing. Of course this was influenced by my living in a small cottage with one room for daily living and one room as studio. No room for clutter and gatherings of things. i suppose what i am saying is clarity in my inner world is delightful and clutter-free. This is where i long to be, and feel most alive and free to create. Thoughts of criticism and judgement are dust motes unwelcome in my favourite inner world. Even if they are present i do my best to ignore them. When my inner world gets foggy, it's curious how getting the vacuum cleaner out and sucking up some floorboard dust eases me back into a quiet place of clarity. Juggling and balancing. Dust seems to have more to do with the past building up around the present. Drop that focus and all i have is the freshness and clarity of this moment. Ding! A sweet sound sweeps away everything else. 🏮
I moved on Election Day, into a house where I plan to stay for the foreseeable future. I have set up my bedroom, bathroom and kitchen to be arranged and functional. There are boxes in what will be my guest room and office, and let’s not even discuss the basement. I figure I have the winter to deal with those. I told my Pilates teacher I’d probably do one box a night and she said, “Oh, no, one box a week.” (I’ve gotten a little banged up and I think she’s concerned about my bruises and aches.) At that rate, it could be 2030, and I want to move a little faster, but I like the idea of just letting things sit out of the way for a while. Like Suleika, I get filled with anxiety opening a box and wanting to find a place for things right away, but some space of time might be helpful.
I resonated strongly with both Anna and Suleika's posts. Many years ago, I was visiting the Centre of Confidence and Wellbeing in Scotland, to do some work. The director at one point looked up from her cluttered desk, smiled and said "I believe it's very difficult to have an organised mind AND an organised desk. I've chosen the former." I've always remembered this when my external spaces are messy. It's usually because I do have a big project going on that needs more of my attention. I do have a shrine of inspiration though. It's my tiny office and all the books are arranged in rainbows, every object has memory, meaning and purpose. For example I have a Japanese corner, and a musical shelf. This space nourishes and inspires me.
Suleika - all the best with the book. Great idea about reading it aloud to a trusted friend. Thank you.
I love this idea of a shrine of inspiration. I wonder how many of us have one of these without realizing it. I know I do!
Firstly, I need to say how stunningly beautiful the portrait of you and Lentil is. You both look so relaxed and peaceful. There is a stillness there that belies any ounce of anxiety.
I love the topic of messiness. My mother who had an artist’s soul was very messy. As a child used to be embarrassed to bring anyone home . As an adult, I see how much I am like her and for the same reason, other things were more important than mopping the floor or doing the dishes.
My mother loved to be outdoors. Whether it be in her beloved garden or gathering up kids in the neighbourhood to go on a hike.
I find the notion of tidying up things before doing something, I need to do is avoidance. It’s kind of therapeutic. It’s letting my mind rest. Then when my interior click says “enough”, I get to work.
Perhaps the need for tidiness is a way of avoiding getting to work because you know how sometimes the creative process can be excruciating so you put it off by going through your ritual of everything in its place thereby delaying the agony of it all. Avoidance becomes the enabler. I'm sure you are able to work through it all. Your friends are so precious and kind and helpful to you. Please keep writing all your wonderful messages
And by the way, I just received Beethoven Blues and am very excited to listen to the whole album. Thank you for that. The two of your are truly fortunate to have each other.
Much good health and happiness to you always.♥️♥️
Ahhhh...a new book-sending your heart out into the world and hoping it will find the hands and heart of another. As for my creative space, I have come to understand that my creative space is in my head. The output of that creativity can take place anywhere. I wrote the 1st draft of my second book on the steps to the bell tower at St. John's College in Annapolis (while waiting for my daughter as she would pass out from POTS), and the 2nd draft of the same book in The Clarisse Performing Arts Center at The University of Maryland while waiting to pick my daughter up from her internship (she cannot drive due to seizures). I handwrite (which is a pain in the ass because I have to then type it) because I never know when inspiration will hit. Seeing my hand on the pen....a hand I have known all my life, that has taken me from scribbles as a little one to Debut Book Author is art (to me) in itself.
Now that's what I call a freeing attitude! Also, I just love how you blend responsibilities with your art. I know plenty of people who pull out some knitting or hand-sewing while they watch kids soccer games. (also a Marylander here)
Thank you, Robin! It took me awhile to understand that "time" was a gift, and I could utilize that time. At first, I felt guilty, doing things for "me," and then...I didn't. I will say, that a lot of students and Professors (known as "Tutors" at St. John's) asked me if I wanted a "more comfortable place to work." The belltower stairs were beyond inspiring, as I wondered how many students had ascended those stairs over the many years. (The Seniors get to ring the bell when they turn in their Senior Thesis...now it's just a "button" to ring the bell.) Hello, fellow Marylander!
I agree Mary. Our true creativity is within us. ❤️ I love that! My thoughts are messy and so is my external areas.
Ahhh...messy inner lives that somehow transform into art. It's so cool, isn't it?
Oh, how I enjoy waking up super early on a Sunday morning ,and reading your Substack entry! I live in a house full of creatives, some messy, some secretly messy, but my dancing daughter and I have that “organize that messy draw thing “ going on. Suleika , you are absolutely spot on about the control stuff. While dancing daughter lived at home , I would find her sitting on the floor arranging her leotards by color and fabric type right before a rehearsal or performance. It was insane. On the other hand ,my painter daughter thrives in messiness, and it drives me crazy. As a Buddhist creative, I believe at my core a working environment free of distraction allows freedom of mind , enabling me to tap into the best parts of my creativity. Be whatever you want to be , please.❤️
A few years ago, I needed to work through some painful old internalized feelings that had sabotaged my creativity for far too long. It was about having confidence in my work and my creativity. It was about strengthening my boundaries to the point that I could recognize and ignore unhelpful criticism. I would no longer allow manipulation (not everyone is happy to see others create) to change the course of my creative desires.
Also, I just needed more space. So, I turned our dining room into my sewing space complete with a large wall for me where I plan my patchwork designs. I claimed my home as MINE when I did that. I do convert the space into a true dining area during the holidays when I host large family parties.
For me, allowing the world to see my work, and how I work- even if it is still in progress, is huge. Since I am tidy by nature, I am not too worried about the "mess". But it has been extremely freeing for me to allow others to see what I am up to and, well, who I am. I figured out how to handle the various reactions from people coming into my home. I am not surrounded by artists. So I guess I am showing them how an creative person operates.
“This is how a creative person operates.” I love this line.
Truth! "...not everyone is happy to see others create." I love this too, "So, I guess I am showing them how a creative person operates." Wow. I never thought of it that way. Thank you.
I’ve found whether I be a messy creative or a neat one, don’t judge myself about it. I happen to be a neatness and orderly creative. I get overwhelmed in a messy space. Dearest Suleika good luck on your new book. You are truly amazing with all of your health challenges and the amount of dreamy work you put out into the universe. Goddess bless you, Carmen, Holly and Jon. It’s amazing to me with all of your health issues, the photographer picked up an element of serenity and grace within you that is truly beautiful. Blessings to our community of love, light, authenticity and wisdom.
Clutter adds to my anxiety, as my anxiety is usually based on feeling like events are beyond my control. So I totally get your impulse to tidy up. There’s also a feeling of productivity that straightening a drawer or clearing a desk brings. A quick hit of dopamine and one less visual reminder that life can be chaotic. I love that photo of you and Lentil. Wishing you, Jon, your pack, and your people a happy Thanksgiving. I’m thankful for you and this community you’ve made.
Yes! Then once that drawer is tidied I get a dopamine hit every time I open it and see how tidy it is. Ha! It’s kind of funny to say, but it can also be quite a powerful little pick-me-up when life is hard. ❤️
You and Lentil are radiant love bugs! So glad you have each other. I was just singing a morning song to CJ Hound. She smiles in sweet harmony. Harmony is a word I’ve embraced lately to make sense of the dissonance and struggle of hard moments. I too have been releasing perfectionism for soft and wild spaces of books and fuzzy dog beds and plants leaning into the sun and favorite rocks and assorted treats in the kitchen. I do crave a certain amount of a minimalist vibe because too much stuff makes my brain cluttered too and then just finding my glasses can be a trip! I’m super excited about your heart’s book coming out when the Spring bulbs break through the soil. May there be peonies and daffodils and so much delight. Thank you to you and Carmen (and Holly too) for the Hatch video. I will enjoy it. Take tender care of yourself and one another. Woof! ♥️💫🐾📚
Congratulations on the release of your new book. It must be so exciting to finally share it with the world. Good luck! I pre-ordered it.
So looking forward to reading your new book. Thank you for sharing your journey during the final moments of birthing your work. It helps all of us who’ve felt the similar misgivings as we labor to the end.
As for messy work space, I find my space comfortably cluttered. It’s not dirty, but my altar and prayer space is next to my computer and work space. Candles, stones and feathers wind up wherever they want. Books piled everywhere. Barely controlled chaos. My room is the messiest space in our otherwise tidy home.
First of all I wanted to tell everyone (Suleika most likely knows this) the Brooklyn Botanic Garden has a beautiful light show that will be there till the end of December and there is display about butterflies with Jon singing the Butterfly song. I highly recommend going for whoever can make it. Truly magical!
My father always kept an immaculate desk. My mother’s workspace was always covered with piles of paper everywhere. This was a bone of contention for my parents throughout their marriage. For many years my father had his own study and my mother had a desk in the living room.Her papers always ended up covering the dining table and she had to clear the table when guests came which was usually at least once a week. Even twelve years after my father’s death. My mother maintains my father’s study in its pristine state and her office is still strewn with piles of paper. I prefer to have a tidy space, but if it is too tidy I worry that I will make a mess. I do not mind a bit of a clutter but the clutter must be orderly. When I see a room with papers and piles everywhere it makes me extremely anxious and I feel a need to start organizing everything into files, to throw anything not being used and anything that is not current. I am an interesting combination of my parents!
At work I have a tiny space that is not my own. I use different hospital computers and I barely have room for a clipboard and my water bottle. I carry my pens in my lab coat. At home I have a desk where I do my writing and other creative work. The room is used as a guest room. The artwork in the room is eclectic to say the least. There are two huge portraits of tigers given to us by my brother in law that I do not care for. I have picture given to me by a patient’s mother over thirty years ago that I treasure, a painting my son brought us from Mexico, a framed print from our first apartment and, a wall with all my diplomas. There is a bed and a bureau which has a group of religious figures my husband set up Earlier this week someone dear to me asked to see my workspace at home. When I showed it to her she remarked that I did not have any photographs of my son or anyone else on my desk. This made me look at my workspace more closely. She was right. My desk had no personality and had nothing special on it. Like the majority of the furniture in my apartment my desk was a hand-me-down from someone in my family so I did not pick it out. Maybe that is why I never bothered to make it mine. It has a large work surface, but no drawers so I keep my office and art supplies in plastic boxes under my desk. On top of my desk I have a computer and printer, a few office supplies and a wicker basket with the things I am working on. I decided to clean my desk up a bit and put away whatever I do not use all the time like my hole puncher, paper cutter and electric pencil sharpener. I am looking for some photographs to put on my desk. I have already selected one of myself at age seven and I will likely chose a few more.
Love that you read aloud with another. Great way to judge one’s own work. Well I am back from my big 80 trip to Asia. It was fabulous. Had a wonderful trip. The problem is that my two female Chihuahuas are fighting over my attention. This is never happened before and I have traveled a lot. People seem to think that this is quite common, dog dominance, but for me to wake up in the middle of the night suffering from Jetlag and break up a dogfight on my bed in the dark, a real life nightmare! life always has some unexpected challenges, in this case, certainly not something I was expecting nor have experienced before. Took the dominant Chihuahua to the vet to have her checked it for any illness, but mostly I think she wants to be top dog, All 7 pounds of her. So big mama is figuring out how to resolve le probleme du jour. The girls are now sleeping in separate rooms away from big mama. That is what the expert suggested . oy vey😱
I’m glad you had a great trip Suzi! Sorry to hear about your dogs having a hard time adapting. I hope it gets better soon.
I have not read you & my other regulars on substack in a while , im blown away with how extremely beautiful & healthy you look ! Just stunning !
My music stand is always present in the living room, a”roommate” awaiting my attention. Amazing how silent this companion can be. Ignored, shifted from here to there, until pulled into the light. Then it’s serious conversation time. I have noticed, when I look, that pages of poems and music are getting well used and ragged as they sit so silently on the music stand. I notice the torn, curled edges for a brief moment, wish this were otherwise, clean, fresh sheets of paper, and then all this is forgotten as I take a deep breath and begin to play. Then, I am no longer in my living room, I have entered the enchanting realm of sound. I am taken deeper and deeper into the depths of sound making and listening. Once in a while I will notice dust gathered on the surface of the music stand. Often, I’ll sweep a finger into the dust to acknowledge its presence, then forget the dust as I take another breath and search for a sweet sound. Occasionally, but not often, i'll remove all the paper from the stand and get a nearby dust cloth and enjoy wiping all the dust away. Truly, there is nothing like a clean, clear surface. That is probably when i most often notice the ragged edges of the sheets of paper. However, very soon i am again taking a deep breath and returning to the quest for sweet sounds. i am then seeing only with my ears, body, and swimming in the inner landscape of sound making. The physical world is in the distant background.
Curiously, when i worked as a potter my studio was very clean. i worked with porcelain and nothing was more pleasing to catch sight of gleaming white bowls sitting on the drying rack, awaiting trimming and glazing. Of course this was influenced by my living in a small cottage with one room for daily living and one room as studio. No room for clutter and gatherings of things. i suppose what i am saying is clarity in my inner world is delightful and clutter-free. This is where i long to be, and feel most alive and free to create. Thoughts of criticism and judgement are dust motes unwelcome in my favourite inner world. Even if they are present i do my best to ignore them. When my inner world gets foggy, it's curious how getting the vacuum cleaner out and sucking up some floorboard dust eases me back into a quiet place of clarity. Juggling and balancing. Dust seems to have more to do with the past building up around the present. Drop that focus and all i have is the freshness and clarity of this moment. Ding! A sweet sound sweeps away everything else. 🏮
I moved on Election Day, into a house where I plan to stay for the foreseeable future. I have set up my bedroom, bathroom and kitchen to be arranged and functional. There are boxes in what will be my guest room and office, and let’s not even discuss the basement. I figure I have the winter to deal with those. I told my Pilates teacher I’d probably do one box a night and she said, “Oh, no, one box a week.” (I’ve gotten a little banged up and I think she’s concerned about my bruises and aches.) At that rate, it could be 2030, and I want to move a little faster, but I like the idea of just letting things sit out of the way for a while. Like Suleika, I get filled with anxiety opening a box and wanting to find a place for things right away, but some space of time might be helpful.