Jul 23, 2023Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
Good morning! Dear Susu Joon, you write from your soul and the generosity is wild and true. So grateful for you. I stumbled towards the coffee pot this morning and opened my notes function on my phone. Here’s a pre-dawn poem and a root beer float:
Jul 23, 2023Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
I love the idea of ‘Human Mycelium.’ I try to bring a healing presence to those I care for in the hospital: the patients, their families, my colleagues. On a good day, I succeed. On others, not as much. But it’s about remembering that we are all connected. And about knowing that acts like you describe (a hug, a remembrance of previous interactions, a coffee) make an impact and are an important part of caring. Wishing you healing.
Good morning Suleika, Fernando, and all you beautiful folks who show up each Sunday, and lift me up in ways you can’t even imagine.
Suleika, if love were measured in mocha lattes with extra whipped cream, you would be floating in an ocean of it. The gesture of giving something to someone is formed from a desire to soothe and show love when that someone needs to know what they’re facing matters to us. I’m thankful you’re surrounded by wonderful people who know the importance of that. Please thank every one of them for me. I love the way you keep leaning into life, even in times like this.
Fernando, I love that you were able to be the change inside of prison walls by giving yourself to ease the last days of every life that you touched. The unseen mycelium of the human condition is palpable every single time a gesture or kindness is offered for no other reason than to comfort someone. Thank you for continuing to practice the gift of giving from the heart to the benefit of everyone around you.
We are all connected and your love of trees isn’t lost on me. I hug trees and place my ear against the rough bark, and I feel the thrum of life every time I do. I believe Mary Oliver said it best, “The door to the woods is the door to the temple.” I’ve worshiped there many times. ♥️
Jul 23, 2023Liked by Suleika Jaouad, Carmen Radley
Hi Suleika! I’m sorry you’re back “in the bubble” but grateful for the care you’re getting. Nurses rock, don’t they? And hello to the human mycelium known as TIJ. That’s the first thing that came to mind, reading Fernando’s essay. How this community connected us all in our isolation during the scariest time of the pandemic and continues to nurture and sustain us.
I’m going to journal on his prompt today and think about how I’d like to connect with others looking forward. What a powerful prompt. Be well and can’t wait to see you at The Hatch next week!
Cheers to whipped cream top mocha lattes and root beer floats! ☕
Suleika, you are richly loved by your community here at the journal, at your home away from home - hospital, and around the world. We are all sending love to you!🌍💌
I'm reminded of my 100-Day Gratitude Video project and the messages I received from fellow journalers stating how impacted they were by a particular video. A few days in, I knew that it was the right thing to do, and I almost didn't do it.
I am not a writer, painter, or creative in the way that so many are here, but I love to celebrate people and remind them of the light (gratitude) that can be if even for a moment, relief from the darkness. Gratitude is a life force with a host of mental and physical benefits. It heals!
So each Friday, when I read your Small Joy and an invitation for others to share, I smile because we continue to be reminded of the light that overcomes the darkness. When I’m not in a space to see or feel a small joy, it’s okay because I know it’s possible, and when I’m ready, I join the chorus again!
As the fires rage around us here in the wilds of BC, making us live in the spaces of the “in between” and the “unknown”, I opened my TIJ connection - the “human mycelium” for our souls - and read the honest, vulnerable words from two people who have truly faced isolation in ways most of us have not. Suleika. Fernando.
Gracious. Kind. Giving back. When many of us would crumble into ourselves - you both show us another way of being. Resilient, even when you don’t feel it. Compassionate, even when you need it more. Forgiving, even when you would rather not. Outspoken, when silence feels like a safer place to dwell. Thank you.
You provide me with hope and understanding as I navigate a physical and emotional path through this fiery threat to my home for the second time in the past 6 years. Grateful for you both. For the TIJ connection.
I was tossing and turning early this morning, then checked my inbox--normally a spiritually bankrupt move. Today it feels like a sign.
I just was out visiting old haunts in San Francisco, where I was born.
To see Fernando Murillo's joyously upturned face with the Bay Bridge and city skyline behind him, oh that's a gift.
To be around giant redwoods, to feel them waiting out my folly, dreams, hard work, misdirected efforts, pleasures, and then those of another 20 lifetimes of little humans--it's a humbling experience.
I look forward to a day of gardening on the lower east side of Manhattan.
I'll be with people who have nothing, but then give half of what they are given away. Their generosity begets mine, which begets theirs, and it never ends. I feel blessed.
Suleika, I wish you humor, healing, and great coffee.
I just read your vigil article for the Times Magazine and it brought me to tears. So beautifully written allowing us to ponder on the humanity that resides in people who we often judge as having none. Thank you for sharing YOUR talent and humanity in all that you do to bring people together, to empathize, to mentor, and to enrich our lives.
My role in my community is to patronize as many local businesses as possible. I try to learn the names of people who work there, and chat with them when I go in. I love hearing about their lives and how things are going for the business. There is one set of ladies who always give me something extra in my carry out order, unasked. I tell them it isn’t necessary, and they continue to do it. I would eat there anyway.
My presence in the community is to be present, to be myself, to listen, to engage in meaningful conversations about life and love, about our brokenness and healing, about our divisions and unity, and to explore more of who we are as human beings, not human doings. I wrote recently about passion, purpose and pleasure and how all of us find those as challenging and rewarding life experiences. So, thank you for the prompt, for sharing the stories and for being here. And a BIG thanks to Fernando and all the trees in our lives.
I woke spiritually bereft...The Vigil and prompt from Mr. Murillo are in my head and I am waiting for my heart to open and to truly feel them. They are both beautiful.
Once again… such a beautiful piece. You write… “I’m familiar with the double-edged sword of being the one who gets to continue on when others can’t. With it comes a sense of responsibility that can be a burden for some; the weight of it can cause you to collapse in on yourself.”
I’m awestruck with how you’ve pushed ahead, regardless of the weight. And also, Fernando. What is it that propels some the ability to move ahead? I’m reminded of 911 where some survivors went on to do great things, while others became emotionally paralyzed, locking themselves up in their apartments.
Survivor gratitude?
*
There were three of us – Deb, Liz, and me. Friends on so many levels – church, dinner parties, hiking. We were all diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010. We bolstered each other; rallied in treatment; and went on living. Deb passed away in 2019. And on June 20, 2023, Liz passed away and took the last vestige of my remaining courage with her. For the first time, I’m struggling emotionally, to pick myself up. I was the one given the poorest odds. I’m grateful for much – a loving husband, Ben dog, cat Cliff, family, garden, summer, friends. Yet I struggle with the weight of ‘survival’.
Reading your stories and then Fernando’s has made me reflective. Thank you
Good morning. I’ve been thinking of you, Suleika. I’m glad your wonderful nurses are taking good care of you. I hope you will be able to return home soon. Sending you much love and healing today and everyday.
So much to think about with todays prompt. I’m going to listen to Fernando’s interview on all the Wiser. And I’ll be looking for the Vigil in the NYTS archives. But first the prompt.
Thank you Fernando for this mornings prompt. I’m ashamed that I have been slacking on reaching out to the community. I used to volunteer at the Wolf Conservation Center in NY. It was hard to be as diligent as I would have liked. The drive was 2 hours both to and from. The passion was there and I love the WCC. But the drive was too much. So I’m looking for a place to volunteer that’s closer to home where I can direct my passions. It will probably involve animals. Hopefully a place where I can connect animals with people. I also have to go back to one of Dear Susu letters. There was an address for a prisoner and I’ve been back and forth with writing a letter. I’m afraid whatever I have to say will just be lacking. But I want to reach out too.
One little thing I did start was rewilding a piece of property. It’s become a wondrous little ecosystem. Life is teeming with pollinators like bees, butterflies, moths, dragonflies. I walk my dogs through this meadow and watching the growth. It’s a way of giving back to nature. And I’m learning the names of plants and insects. This morning I encountered a hummingbird moth. I was in awe. Nature is truly amazing. Fernando, I also love trees and I’m going to learn more about their networking.
I’m also truly thankful to you fit your commitment to Hospice care. I have so much admiration for the people who work in palliative care. I remember how vital hospice care was to our family during my father’s transition. There is a peacefulness to hospice care.
Suleika - one of the hardest things about recovery is admitting to and getting help with setbacks. I’m so glad that you have the network to know this with you, and manifest those treats that really do turn a day around :)
Fernando - thank you for this prompt and sharing your wisdom about trees and mycelium. You have probably read Merlin Sheldrake’s book Entangled Life, which blew my mind by associating plant biology with human social systems. I am grateful to people like you who show how these lessons can improve our daily choices, and in so doing, encourage me to do the same.
This prompt is almost uncomfortably timely for me. In May I put my LA apartment in storage and left town to work remotely “from the road.” I’ve been spending the summer between the homes of good friends and family in New England, New York, and now, Michigan. The first chapter was about re-establishing my roots along the East Coast where I grew up and where my closest ones live while decompressing from, well, my life in LA. The second was about staying in place physically so I could be present emotionally for people I care deeply about going through significant life experiences, and, to give some extra attention to my work without new distractions. Now, the third chapter is about exploring Detroit as a possible home in the not-too-distant future, and one of my many motives is the search for a community where the things I can offer make a meaningful difference in others’ lives. And where I can also become part of a network that values the same.
This prompt is verbatim one of the core questions guiding my quest. I have learned so much by answering it in different, often big-city, places over the years, and one lesson I have gained is that the relationship between place and the community it shapes is important to understand before taking action. The things I am most prepared to offer remain fairly constant - quality time with young children and elderly, reliability, healthy food, positivity and encouragement, research and public speaking skills - but finding where and how to apply it changes often. When my efforts to connect with community through organized groups fall flat, I focus on the fact that community starts with the connection between two people and celebrate the small acts of kindness. Greetings on the street, helping a stranger load a car, being patient in a context where rudeness and brashness is often the norm, showing up with a smile, treating a friend on a whim. Using my presence in those ways re-invigorates my belief in community in any given place, and seeing the small way it can warm up someone else’s day motivates me to build my bigger actions from those small daily acts.
A&W Root Beer Floats meant entering a different country. Brooklyn was fading away and we were on Route 66, heading towards California. Birdie was driving and stopped the car to pick some week which grew wildly. Oh well busted! The jail was over the sheriff home. We had Abby Hoffman's book called Steal This Book. After a week of jail time we were kicked out and told not to come back. Hippies on the road--a far different jail time from those I have known since and my won been isolated in my home. And so if you can visualize bra's hanging from a jail window---
Goodmorning Sulieka, I really do look forward to turning my phone on Sunday mornings and reading your wonderful thoughtful words. In terms of the prompt. It really helps me look at what I do especially in this uncertain financial Times we're living in. I think how I can empower my community is through empowering them with the financial knowledge I've learned. It's interesting you talk about how the nurses treated when you went back into the hospital. It brought a memory where it felt like a real community even within the hospital. Everytime we had to go the ER and most likely having to be admitted we always came across a nurse we got to know. Everytime my daughter was admitted to her room there was always a welcome back message on the whiteboard from nurses. That made getting up to room in middle of the night so much easier. We forged a little community while in there. With the nursing crisis that has been happening here for some reason i started to ask questions about what they were going through personally. I was surprised when they let me into their world in real personal ways. It is funny how you can find community in what would seem like an unlikely place. We've been back to visit those nurses since her last stay in Aug 2022. Dropped off a Xmas card and when we went up there I ask about specific nurse. I had no idea but as she said the minute she heard our voice she came running out. This was our first nurse in Jan 2022. It was like seeing an old friend who had a huge impact not only on my daughter but on me personally. We look forward to visiting them in Aug after my daughter's appt at the adult hospital before hand. During all the time we were in the hospital last year is when i came across your journal after reading the book. So thankful for what you've done here. During that time it was a real life of sanity when i could barely keep it together.
Good morning! Dear Susu Joon, you write from your soul and the generosity is wild and true. So grateful for you. I stumbled towards the coffee pot this morning and opened my notes function on my phone. Here’s a pre-dawn poem and a root beer float:
The Choreography of Birds
Dance said the Raven to the poet
She spun in the labyrinth of breath
Circulating oxygen in her cells
The trees fed her
And she them
Symbiosis noted
In notebooks
Of science
And the sun shone on her
The clouds played Mozart
And the harpsichord of her heart
Strummed
Sing said the Raven to the poet
And she transformed sound into melody
Footfalls into rhythm
Barefoot on dark soil
She spun in circles
The moon overhead
winked at her
as if to say
Look up in wonder
at the northern lights
painting blues and sage greens
like Georgia
And Frida
weaving color into movement
Sit said the Raven to the Poet
And the poet
sat in stillness
Neither waiting for a lover
Not working for a wage
Neither longing
for anything
but ease
Sending love and healing drools from Sawyer! 💖🐾💫
I love the idea of ‘Human Mycelium.’ I try to bring a healing presence to those I care for in the hospital: the patients, their families, my colleagues. On a good day, I succeed. On others, not as much. But it’s about remembering that we are all connected. And about knowing that acts like you describe (a hug, a remembrance of previous interactions, a coffee) make an impact and are an important part of caring. Wishing you healing.
Good morning Suleika, Fernando, and all you beautiful folks who show up each Sunday, and lift me up in ways you can’t even imagine.
Suleika, if love were measured in mocha lattes with extra whipped cream, you would be floating in an ocean of it. The gesture of giving something to someone is formed from a desire to soothe and show love when that someone needs to know what they’re facing matters to us. I’m thankful you’re surrounded by wonderful people who know the importance of that. Please thank every one of them for me. I love the way you keep leaning into life, even in times like this.
Fernando, I love that you were able to be the change inside of prison walls by giving yourself to ease the last days of every life that you touched. The unseen mycelium of the human condition is palpable every single time a gesture or kindness is offered for no other reason than to comfort someone. Thank you for continuing to practice the gift of giving from the heart to the benefit of everyone around you.
We are all connected and your love of trees isn’t lost on me. I hug trees and place my ear against the rough bark, and I feel the thrum of life every time I do. I believe Mary Oliver said it best, “The door to the woods is the door to the temple.” I’ve worshiped there many times. ♥️
Hi Suleika! I’m sorry you’re back “in the bubble” but grateful for the care you’re getting. Nurses rock, don’t they? And hello to the human mycelium known as TIJ. That’s the first thing that came to mind, reading Fernando’s essay. How this community connected us all in our isolation during the scariest time of the pandemic and continues to nurture and sustain us.
I’m going to journal on his prompt today and think about how I’d like to connect with others looking forward. What a powerful prompt. Be well and can’t wait to see you at The Hatch next week!
Cheers to whipped cream top mocha lattes and root beer floats! ☕
Suleika, you are richly loved by your community here at the journal, at your home away from home - hospital, and around the world. We are all sending love to you!🌍💌
I'm reminded of my 100-Day Gratitude Video project and the messages I received from fellow journalers stating how impacted they were by a particular video. A few days in, I knew that it was the right thing to do, and I almost didn't do it.
I am not a writer, painter, or creative in the way that so many are here, but I love to celebrate people and remind them of the light (gratitude) that can be if even for a moment, relief from the darkness. Gratitude is a life force with a host of mental and physical benefits. It heals!
So each Friday, when I read your Small Joy and an invitation for others to share, I smile because we continue to be reminded of the light that overcomes the darkness. When I’m not in a space to see or feel a small joy, it’s okay because I know it’s possible, and when I’m ready, I join the chorus again!
As the fires rage around us here in the wilds of BC, making us live in the spaces of the “in between” and the “unknown”, I opened my TIJ connection - the “human mycelium” for our souls - and read the honest, vulnerable words from two people who have truly faced isolation in ways most of us have not. Suleika. Fernando.
Gracious. Kind. Giving back. When many of us would crumble into ourselves - you both show us another way of being. Resilient, even when you don’t feel it. Compassionate, even when you need it more. Forgiving, even when you would rather not. Outspoken, when silence feels like a safer place to dwell. Thank you.
You provide me with hope and understanding as I navigate a physical and emotional path through this fiery threat to my home for the second time in the past 6 years. Grateful for you both. For the TIJ connection.
I was tossing and turning early this morning, then checked my inbox--normally a spiritually bankrupt move. Today it feels like a sign.
I just was out visiting old haunts in San Francisco, where I was born.
To see Fernando Murillo's joyously upturned face with the Bay Bridge and city skyline behind him, oh that's a gift.
To be around giant redwoods, to feel them waiting out my folly, dreams, hard work, misdirected efforts, pleasures, and then those of another 20 lifetimes of little humans--it's a humbling experience.
I look forward to a day of gardening on the lower east side of Manhattan.
I'll be with people who have nothing, but then give half of what they are given away. Their generosity begets mine, which begets theirs, and it never ends. I feel blessed.
Suleika, I wish you humor, healing, and great coffee.
I just read your vigil article for the Times Magazine and it brought me to tears. So beautifully written allowing us to ponder on the humanity that resides in people who we often judge as having none. Thank you for sharing YOUR talent and humanity in all that you do to bring people together, to empathize, to mentor, and to enrich our lives.
My role in my community is to patronize as many local businesses as possible. I try to learn the names of people who work there, and chat with them when I go in. I love hearing about their lives and how things are going for the business. There is one set of ladies who always give me something extra in my carry out order, unasked. I tell them it isn’t necessary, and they continue to do it. I would eat there anyway.
My presence in the community is to be present, to be myself, to listen, to engage in meaningful conversations about life and love, about our brokenness and healing, about our divisions and unity, and to explore more of who we are as human beings, not human doings. I wrote recently about passion, purpose and pleasure and how all of us find those as challenging and rewarding life experiences. So, thank you for the prompt, for sharing the stories and for being here. And a BIG thanks to Fernando and all the trees in our lives.
I woke spiritually bereft...The Vigil and prompt from Mr. Murillo are in my head and I am waiting for my heart to open and to truly feel them. They are both beautiful.
Once again… such a beautiful piece. You write… “I’m familiar with the double-edged sword of being the one who gets to continue on when others can’t. With it comes a sense of responsibility that can be a burden for some; the weight of it can cause you to collapse in on yourself.”
I’m awestruck with how you’ve pushed ahead, regardless of the weight. And also, Fernando. What is it that propels some the ability to move ahead? I’m reminded of 911 where some survivors went on to do great things, while others became emotionally paralyzed, locking themselves up in their apartments.
Survivor gratitude?
*
There were three of us – Deb, Liz, and me. Friends on so many levels – church, dinner parties, hiking. We were all diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010. We bolstered each other; rallied in treatment; and went on living. Deb passed away in 2019. And on June 20, 2023, Liz passed away and took the last vestige of my remaining courage with her. For the first time, I’m struggling emotionally, to pick myself up. I was the one given the poorest odds. I’m grateful for much – a loving husband, Ben dog, cat Cliff, family, garden, summer, friends. Yet I struggle with the weight of ‘survival’.
Reading your stories and then Fernando’s has made me reflective. Thank you
I hope you’re sprung soon.
Good morning. I’ve been thinking of you, Suleika. I’m glad your wonderful nurses are taking good care of you. I hope you will be able to return home soon. Sending you much love and healing today and everyday.
So much to think about with todays prompt. I’m going to listen to Fernando’s interview on all the Wiser. And I’ll be looking for the Vigil in the NYTS archives. But first the prompt.
Thank you Fernando for this mornings prompt. I’m ashamed that I have been slacking on reaching out to the community. I used to volunteer at the Wolf Conservation Center in NY. It was hard to be as diligent as I would have liked. The drive was 2 hours both to and from. The passion was there and I love the WCC. But the drive was too much. So I’m looking for a place to volunteer that’s closer to home where I can direct my passions. It will probably involve animals. Hopefully a place where I can connect animals with people. I also have to go back to one of Dear Susu letters. There was an address for a prisoner and I’ve been back and forth with writing a letter. I’m afraid whatever I have to say will just be lacking. But I want to reach out too.
One little thing I did start was rewilding a piece of property. It’s become a wondrous little ecosystem. Life is teeming with pollinators like bees, butterflies, moths, dragonflies. I walk my dogs through this meadow and watching the growth. It’s a way of giving back to nature. And I’m learning the names of plants and insects. This morning I encountered a hummingbird moth. I was in awe. Nature is truly amazing. Fernando, I also love trees and I’m going to learn more about their networking.
I’m also truly thankful to you fit your commitment to Hospice care. I have so much admiration for the people who work in palliative care. I remember how vital hospice care was to our family during my father’s transition. There is a peacefulness to hospice care.
Again thank you Suleika and Fernando. 🪶☀️
Suleika - one of the hardest things about recovery is admitting to and getting help with setbacks. I’m so glad that you have the network to know this with you, and manifest those treats that really do turn a day around :)
Fernando - thank you for this prompt and sharing your wisdom about trees and mycelium. You have probably read Merlin Sheldrake’s book Entangled Life, which blew my mind by associating plant biology with human social systems. I am grateful to people like you who show how these lessons can improve our daily choices, and in so doing, encourage me to do the same.
This prompt is almost uncomfortably timely for me. In May I put my LA apartment in storage and left town to work remotely “from the road.” I’ve been spending the summer between the homes of good friends and family in New England, New York, and now, Michigan. The first chapter was about re-establishing my roots along the East Coast where I grew up and where my closest ones live while decompressing from, well, my life in LA. The second was about staying in place physically so I could be present emotionally for people I care deeply about going through significant life experiences, and, to give some extra attention to my work without new distractions. Now, the third chapter is about exploring Detroit as a possible home in the not-too-distant future, and one of my many motives is the search for a community where the things I can offer make a meaningful difference in others’ lives. And where I can also become part of a network that values the same.
This prompt is verbatim one of the core questions guiding my quest. I have learned so much by answering it in different, often big-city, places over the years, and one lesson I have gained is that the relationship between place and the community it shapes is important to understand before taking action. The things I am most prepared to offer remain fairly constant - quality time with young children and elderly, reliability, healthy food, positivity and encouragement, research and public speaking skills - but finding where and how to apply it changes often. When my efforts to connect with community through organized groups fall flat, I focus on the fact that community starts with the connection between two people and celebrate the small acts of kindness. Greetings on the street, helping a stranger load a car, being patient in a context where rudeness and brashness is often the norm, showing up with a smile, treating a friend on a whim. Using my presence in those ways re-invigorates my belief in community in any given place, and seeing the small way it can warm up someone else’s day motivates me to build my bigger actions from those small daily acts.
A&W Root Beer Floats meant entering a different country. Brooklyn was fading away and we were on Route 66, heading towards California. Birdie was driving and stopped the car to pick some week which grew wildly. Oh well busted! The jail was over the sheriff home. We had Abby Hoffman's book called Steal This Book. After a week of jail time we were kicked out and told not to come back. Hippies on the road--a far different jail time from those I have known since and my won been isolated in my home. And so if you can visualize bra's hanging from a jail window---
Goodmorning Sulieka, I really do look forward to turning my phone on Sunday mornings and reading your wonderful thoughtful words. In terms of the prompt. It really helps me look at what I do especially in this uncertain financial Times we're living in. I think how I can empower my community is through empowering them with the financial knowledge I've learned. It's interesting you talk about how the nurses treated when you went back into the hospital. It brought a memory where it felt like a real community even within the hospital. Everytime we had to go the ER and most likely having to be admitted we always came across a nurse we got to know. Everytime my daughter was admitted to her room there was always a welcome back message on the whiteboard from nurses. That made getting up to room in middle of the night so much easier. We forged a little community while in there. With the nursing crisis that has been happening here for some reason i started to ask questions about what they were going through personally. I was surprised when they let me into their world in real personal ways. It is funny how you can find community in what would seem like an unlikely place. We've been back to visit those nurses since her last stay in Aug 2022. Dropped off a Xmas card and when we went up there I ask about specific nurse. I had no idea but as she said the minute she heard our voice she came running out. This was our first nurse in Jan 2022. It was like seeing an old friend who had a huge impact not only on my daughter but on me personally. We look forward to visiting them in Aug after my daughter's appt at the adult hospital before hand. During all the time we were in the hospital last year is when i came across your journal after reading the book. So thankful for what you've done here. During that time it was a real life of sanity when i could barely keep it together.