I Have an Announcement!

A summer hiatus & the benefits of a to-feel list

Dreaming of lazy days with my beloveds (photo by Nadia Albano)

Hi friend,

These last few months, I’ve been pushing myself hard, working long days and nights on my art show, in addition to this weekly newsletter, a new book project, and various other commitments. It has been so empowering and fulfilling in every way—artistically, personally, and physically—and I’m really proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish. When I compare where I am now to how I felt two years ago, when I was in the hospital undergoing my second bone marrow transplant, it feels like undeniable proof of healing.

But as I told a friend yesterday, my brain feels like it’s filled with marbles, all bouncing around and clattering against each other. In these last few months, my to-do list has consumed my thoughts from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep, and it’s gotten so long and unwieldy that the first thing I do in the morning is revise and reorganize it—so that managing my to-do list has become yet another to-do. If I’m being honest, I’m tired. And I know from having been through a serious case of burnout before that what I need right now is rest.

So starting today, I’m taking a few weeks off from this Sunday newsletter to unplug and recharge. I’m going to miss these weekly conversations with our beautiful community so much, but I know that taking time off will give me the perspective and the space to dream up beautiful new things—and I’m so excited to share them with you when I’m back in August!

Paid subscriber benefits will continue, like the July gathering of the Hatch, our virtual creative hour (date to come). I’ll also be sharing the video of my artist talk with my mom Anne Francey, as well as an essay I wrote on the cult of productivity.

I have a complicated relationship to rest, as I’ve written about before. For as long as I can remember, my sense of self-worth has been tied to my output. In order to take time off, it has to feel “earned,” whatever that means. Even when I do go on vacation, I struggle to sink in and actually do nothing. I reflexively look for other ways to be productive, like trying to tackle my entire to-be-read list, or maximizing my step count, or finding homes for every stray dog I see.

As I pack for a couple weeks of summer travel with my family, I’ve been contemplating how to allow myself to actually rest. So yesterday, I returned to one of my favorite prompts—the To-Feel List by the illustrator Sky Banyes. It’s an antidote to the siren call of hyper-productivity. Rather than making a to-do list, you write down all the things you want to feel. Then you imagine what will get you there. At the top of mine is this: I want to feel rested, recharged, and tranquil. But more than anything, I want to feel bored—for as my mom always used to tell us when we were kids, the best ideas emerge from boredom. I want to let my mind wander, to spend my days lazily, enjoying time with Jon and my family and trying to be as still and as present as I can.

It’s with this in mind that I’m resharing the To-Feel List essay and prompt with you today. May it help you uncover what it is you’re yearning for, be it rest, play, or the wonderfully fertile ground of complete boredom.

Sending love,

Suleika

Some Items of Note—

• Our next meeting of the Hatch, our virtual hour for paid subscribers, is happening today—that’s Sunday, June 30, from 1-2pm ET.

  Holly Huitt
  will be hosting this time, taking you down a less-trodden path to deepen your understanding of another person—and yourself. Find everything you need to join us here!

• In our Isolation Journals chat every Friday, we send up a chorus of collective gratitude in the form of a small joy from the week that we want to hold onto—though this week, mine was huge! I wrote about the overwhelming joy of meeting so many of you in person at the opening of my art show. To read about and see photos of the gathering and to add your joy to the chorus, click here!

• If you missed the opening events for my joint art show with my mom Anne Francey, don’t worry—it’s up until September at ArtYard in Frenchtown, NJ. Admission is free (though donations are welcome); check their website for their hours of operation. I hope you get a chance to see it!

Prompt 302. Your To-Feel List by Sky Banyes

We’re all in search of purpose. For me, the form that took was filling up my CV, my schedule, and my to-do lists. I was striving for achievements—and yet I never felt deeply fulfilled.

Three years ago, I started illustrating as a fun way to make sense of things. Over time, it became much more. With reflection, vulnerability and the nourishing possibilities of pen and paper as my tools, I embarked on an essential search for meaning. It’s been a deep explorative dive, and what I discovered in the depths of every plunge was feelings. Even in everyday responsibilities such as work and family, I realized that the upstream of every “to-do” was actually a “to-feel”: useful, financially secure, loving, loved.

Now, I consciously first focus on my feelings—instead of my doings—and allow them to guide my path. It has challenged the foundation upon which I’m building my life. The experience has been transformative.

Your prompt for the week:
Write a “to-feel” list. Start by naming your deepest yearnings and aspirations. Then take a moment to reflect on each—to study your own feeling compass, teasing out the nuances of what each contains with more depth and specificity. You can make your list as a row or column, or lay them out in a fluffy brainstorming cloud. Feel free to use colors and to get creative.

Now, take a look at your list. Are your priorities, habits, and rituals serving these feelings? What steps can you take to honor the items on your “to-feel” list?

If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section, in our Facebook group, or on Instagram by tagging @theisolationjournals.

Today’s Contributor—

Sky Banyes is a life enthusiast and creator of emotional illustrations... with a pinch of salt. An optimistic, passionate and forever curious student of life, she lives by the rule that one should take nothing too seriously. Her book, The Little Book of Silver Linings, is now available.

For more paid subscriber benefits, see—

• A New Year’s Breath Session, a 25-minute breathing meditation by Taylor Somerville to feel rested and rejuvenated

• Letters from Love, a video replay of my workshop with the dazzling Elizabeth Gilbert, where she shares the transformative spiritual practice she’s uses to combat self-criticism and to access an ocean of unconditional love

• A Creative Heart-to-Heart, a raw, unfiltered conversation with my husband Jon, where we talk about joy as a practice and how the act of creativity allows us to marry the impossibly cruel and astonishingly beautiful facts of life

Our Isolation Journal No. 1—

Our Isolation Journals tote embroidered with my forever mantra is officially sold out, but we still have custom journals in stock. If you’re looking for a blank-page companion for your lazy summer days and getaways, click the button below!